20 September 2014
sir, first I want to tell about my self... my name ravi. ca final student. taken coaching for all the subjects, that too 7 months earlier the exam month. initially I thought of writing both the groups and to be honest I want to pass with a rank. and with millions of dreams I have gone to my home for preparation(7 months). started studying and due to my father's general store business I have to go out of the town for bringing goods. and it will take more than 4hrs a day. and I am addicted to t.v. I used to watch 4 hrs a day easily.and when I am 5 months away from november... I am serious towards studies. after 2months when I calculated the portions I have covered, I was shocked to know that I cant afford to write both groups. so, I thought of wrting 1st group. and after deciding to write one group, I am unable to focus on my studies. main reason is... from the day I passed ipcc(took 4 attempts), I decided that.. in final I shouldn't do what I have done in ipcc. and I daily repeated this "I will pass ca final in my first attempt, its fix and that too with a rank". I promise friend. .. I repeated this almost everyday for 2.5 years. but now the scene is completely changed. I am writing one group and I am unable to accept that. so unable to concentrate on studies, even though book is before me I hardly read for 1 hour a day.and 3 months before exams, studies are going slowly but with continuity. and due to some reason I went to my relatives house for 1 week.(my moms relatives so I should go.) and after returning to home... book is on my chair but I am looking somewhere and browsing in the tab. I spend 15 days like that. please trust me... for 15 days I didn't even read for 2hours (aggregate). the thing is even though I am wasting time knowingly.... I regret wasting time every second. in the night while on bed, thoughts in my mind. regarding this wasting of my time. in that 15 days I am just unable to read.... it's like I can't read and write. after so much of regrets, applied for 1st group. even now I have so much pain in my heart that I am writing one group. so any how started preparation. but it is not upto the mark. sometimes I almost cry for my situation. I want to pass with good marks but unable to focus on studies. sometimes I feel like suicide is good option for me. even while typing this I have tears in my eyes. I planned for something great but ended up nowhere. today when I write what are the topics covered and topics yet to be coverd and level of revision. .. I feel like , I am going to waste one attempt. now I am thinking that... to prepare for 1st group as if I ak going to attempt this november and to take final decision whether to write or not on 6th november. if I prefer not to write (I think most probably because of my level of preparation) I will prepare for both groups and will give attempt in may,2015. even now the doubt in my mind is whether I will focus on studies or something will happen because of which I am in this situation right now. I am very confused.dont know what to do...I feel like crying every night because of my situation unable to focus but dreaming so high. even I feel shameful for myself. now i think to go to somewhere far from home and stay in room and prepare for exams. but will i do study properly... now I am in a position that I cant even have faith on myself. one thing friends I am not a dull student and as well not a bright student but above average and hardworkig. yes, hardworking initially I am good at studies(got 43rd rank in cwa inter.may be because of ipcc preparation.even now some days i used to study for 15hours and yes covering a pretty part of portions. but once if I was off the track it would take days to be back. present what I am doing is keeping a book before me and pretending as if I am studying, and thinking what to do. Please help me... I dont know what I am doing and what I should do. and how it should be done. Please guide me friends... I am telling all this long story so that you can feel for a minute, what I am feeling day and night. dreams in heart... tears in eyes.... unable to focus on studies. dont know what's happening to me... please help me.... help me... help me. ; (
realizing dreams take time and the grind. Given that you are good at studies, there is no reason you cannot repear the ICWA success in CA exams. But that would need consistent preparation and lot sacrifice (giving up TV to start with!)
My advice, don't appear in November but start preparing for May 15 right now with no allowance for time-wastage. Stop thinking about the results...Just prepare...
1st of all I should tell you that your biggest problem is that you are thinking to much. You are a good student you are only loosing your focus. You are suffering from fear of not living upto your own expectations. You are not happy in your mind thats the reason why these ugly thoughts like sucide is coming to your mind. Why are you crying? Will it solve anything? It is not the end of the world. Your situation is not as bad as you are thinking. You have wasted some time which you have realised. Now dont waste any more time regretting it. Do not let go the Nov 2014 attempt. You have more than a month. You can easily clear one group. Just give it your best shot. Study with happy and relaxed mind. Don't dwell on what happened. Make a fresh beginning. I am sure you will come out with flying colours. Best wishes for your exam preparation.
CAclubindia
