I want to share a small journey with u all. This is not any kind of protest against institute or any sort of grudge because firstly I don’t have courage left for any further battle and secondly at this stage all I am left with is loneliness and sadness.
I am from lucknow. I got admission in this (so called coveted) Chartered accountancy course in 2005 i.e just after clearing my 12th standard. I appeared for my PE-1 Exams in may 2006 and got following-
Accounts- 61
Mathematics and statistics- 47
Economics-47
Business communication and management- 37
GRAND TOTAL- 192
First time in life at that stage I tasted failure. I felt miserable…everything was like how could I fail…what could go wrong…etc etc. My other friends got cleared.
But then I stood firm and tried again in Nov 2006 and I got following-
Accounts- 69
Mathematics and statistics- 65
Economics-52
Business communication and management- 55
GRAND TOTAL- 241
I was happy finally as I had cleared C.A foundation. Everybody was happy including my parents, friends etc. Further I was alongside enrolled for my graduation stuff. I had entered PCC, attempt was due in Nov 2008, side by side I was doing my articleship. My life was going normally. I had joined coachings for costing and accounts subjects out of which accounts one went in vain( as the teacher was crap).
In march 2008 I suffered an accident. This incident led me to bed rest for more than 1.5 months and led me to mental setback for a prolonged period.
My taxation and accounts (two core subjects) coachings were still pending and exam time was approaching. But somehow I gathered courage again and joined them in may 2008 and started preparing for other subjects concurrently.
Exam time came and I wrote them with bit of anxiety, fear and trauma …etc etc whatever u can say. In all I experienced first time Real pressure and fear of C.A exams. Finally Results came-
Advanced accounting- 45
Auditing and assurance- 61
Law ethics and communication- 60
GRAND TOTAL- 166
Cost accounting and F.M- 46
Taxation- 58
Information technology and S.M- 51
GRAND TOTAL-155
Shayad as far as I remember I was the happiest man in world at that day. I cleared both groups in first attempt. Everyone was overjoyed. Next big dream destination was DELHI as back then in lucknow not very good options were available and moreover satellite classes were not much in trend. So finally I moved to DELHI in Oct 2009.
I was lucky to get admission in Dippak Gupta classes for IDT, Sanjay sir classes for COST, and Makkar sir classes for MAFA. Later on I also took fastrack refresher course for AUDIT by Surbhi mam and Law by Deepak Gajrani Sir, although more or less both were in vain. I didn’t got myself enrolled for Accounts classes by Parveen Sharma sir and Dt classes the reasons primarily for doing so as already 3 core subjects were in progress and there was no time left for even basic activities sometimes. The schedule was super hectic for all 7 days.
Batches were in progress and there were some very beautiful moments of my life in DELHI.
Batches were about to finish around March 2010, already 6 months were about to over and some where or other leaving delhi I had thoughts in my mind that too much expenses were borne on me and I had to make it worthy.
After coming back again to Lucknow I started preparing for both groups and committed my first mistake of studying accounts and taxation subjects by myself. I thought I could do it myself and so I carried on.
In Nov 2010 I appeared for my first C.A final exams. I remember the energy quotient was so boosted at that point of time that I thought I would do it. But here starts the failure journey-
Financial reporting- 36
MAFA- 12
Advanced auditing-44
Laws-49
GRAND TOTAL-141
Costing -39
ISCA-44
DT-30
IDT-48
GRAND TOTAL- 161
I was pissed off with this failure and somewhere or other there was lack in preparation, approach and lack of proper coaching in accounts and DT sucjects.
While failures had occurred earlier also and I had managed myself to start up again but I this time I strictly didn’t knew what had happened. Again I appeared for May 2011-
Financial reporting- 39
MAFA- 43
Advanced auditing-56
Laws-47
GRAND TOTAL-185
Costing -33
ISCA- A
DT- A
IDT- A
GRAND TOTAL- 33
Yes this time I had skipped group 2 as during examinations I was so tensed I could’nt even gather courage to attempt rest of papers. Meanwhile the marks of first group were clearly evidencing that lack of coaching again had taken a toll on me. I still don’t know why I didn’t go for Parveen Sharma satellite classes in lko while at the same time my other fellows took classes and were successfully clearing groups.
Again Nov 2011 but this time with better approach and preparation I appeared and got following-
Financial reporting- 36
MAFA- 37
Advanced auditing-53
Laws-35
GRAND TOTAL-161
Costing -35
ISCA- 39
DT- 46
IDT- 50
GRAND TOTAL- 170
Life was sort of hell of me at this period. With increasing attempts and age and seeing my fellow, friends and juniors moving at fast pace made me jealous. My past haunted me. I hated myself. But C.A is C.A – the beauty of the course lies in u cant leave this course easily and yet u hate it every single second.
May 2012- I appeared again but prepared only for first group opting for safe approach but this time armoured myself with Sharma sir coaching guidance and to my wonder I got-
Financial reporting- 63
MAFA- 48
Advanced auditing-60
Laws-62
GRAND TOTAL-233
Costing -23
ISCA- 33
DT- 25
IDT- 25
GRAND TOTAL- 106
I cleared first group with good numbers and was shocked myself. While on one hand I was happy, God was busy preparing a tough chapter for me. Forgot to tell u all I had also enrolled for C.S in 2009 the executive program of which I cleared in 2012.
I don’t know why it happened with me but it did. 33 marks extra wasted. Had I prepared for second group a bit I would have cleared both.
Rest attempts are as follows- (Nov 2012)
Costing -44
ISCA-40
DT- 47
IDT- 46
GRAND TOTAL- 177
(May 2013)
Costing -34
ISCA-34
DT- 33
IDT- 48
GRAND TOTAL- 149
(November 2013)
Costing -50
ISCA-32
DT- 50
IDT- 36
GRAND TOTAL- 168
(June 2014)
Costing -53
ISCA-41
DT- 45
IDT- 36
GRAND TOTAL- 175
Guys barring May 2013 all attempts I had prepared seriously for group 2 and that due to personal reasons. I had always tried to learn from my past mistakes and tried to do well but everytime something or other goes wrong. Earlier in costing I was not able to complete my 20-25 marks paper. I worked hard on it and from past 2 results it has improved but on other hand DT and IDT are constantly playing games with me. These are the subjects I love most but I couldn’t improve my marks.
This time is worst I was expecting 40-41 in DT and atleast 48-49 in IDT and what happens is converse. In ISCA also I was expecting 50 atleast.
When I look back I seriously regret whether it was correct to join C.A and then I realize what was wrong not to join anything else and put my life and career to stake at ICAI. They have unlimited powers to do anything. I was a average student and was not academically very bright. But after entering and clearing my Foundation and PCC exams I thought I was worth something. I couldn’t concentrate much on my C.S exams also due to C.A and uptil now only module-3 has cleared at final level. This attempt (june2014) was also wasted due to clashing of both exams and I had to sacrifice C.S. exams.
But now friends I have realized I am a very dumb candidate and should not have joined this prestigious and academically brilliant course. Even clearing Foundation, PCC and group-1 seem to be just my sheer luck or whatever; strictly I don’t feel deserving for it. There are people around me who say and claim they had studied subjects like DT and IDT from practice manuals and cleared groups successfully. Here I was at mistake, I couldn’t read from them as they seemed to me guides or something like that, I had habit of reading from Text books and material but that doesn’t seem enough to our institute. Sadly I was at blunder. It was just I have reached this level so sometimes I thought I can do it but then my past doesn’t allows me now. I should had opted for some kind of normal course like M.B.A or bank IBPS or LLB. Past 6 months was busy finding job but here also I faced tough time. Employers were ready to entertain B.com candidate with 2 or 3 years workex but no C.A (inter) and that too for a 10000/- bucks.
I again cursed myself for joining the league of extraordinary gentleman. Had I done B.com and had chosen academically simple paths I would had been at better position. But now how can I complain ICAI as joining C.A was my decision so the consequences are also in my kitty.
I didn’t wanted much, just wanted to lead a normal life. But life is no more normal for rest of my life I GUESS.
CAclubindia
