Some funny stories

CA Prashant Gupta (DGM (F & A)) (14068 Points)

19 April 2013  

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him Rs. 10 and that Continues for a year.

Then suddenly the daily donation changes to Rs. 7.

” Well,” the beggar thinks, ” it’s still better than nothing.”

A year passes in this way until the man’s daily donation suddenly becomes Rs. 5.

” What’s going on now?” the beggar asks his donor. ” First you give me Rs. 10 every day, then Rs. 7 and now only Rs. 5. What’s the problem?”

” Well,” the man says, ” last year my eldest son went to university, it’s very expensive, so I had to cut costs.

This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further .”

” And how many children do you have?” the beggar asks.

” Four,” the man replies.

” Well,” says the beggar, ” I hope you don’t plan to educate them all at my expense”.

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How to call the police

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window.

George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said "no".

Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot them all."

Then he hung up.

Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

 

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Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.


Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"


So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I smoke while I pray?"




The Priest replies, "No, my son, you may not! That's utter disrespect to our religion."


Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.


Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."



And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Father, may I pray while I smoke?"



To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to."



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Moral of the story is... the reply you get depends on the question you ask.


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For example, if you want a vacation when still working on a project don't ask for the holiday;


ask: "Can I keep working on this project while I'm on vacation?"