What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.
Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
Q: What's the difference between mother and wife?
A: One woman brings you into the world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.
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