Some people are part of your life, whether you want them there or not. What if you don’t have the
warmest of feelings for your boss? Your mother-in-law? Your next-door neighbor?
It’s easy to come up with a mental catalog of all the ways in which that person could change to be less annoying,
domineering, passive-aggressive, arrogant, etc.—but the fact is, you can’t change anyone but yourself.
Here are some tips about how to help yourself cultivate more friendly feelings. It’s quite a strain to hide feelings of dislike;
if you can manage to change your feelings, you’ll be much happier. It’s hard, but not impossible.
1. Seek contact. This is a bit counter-intuitive. If you don't like someone, you probably feel like avoiding that person,
but because of the psychological phenomenon known as the mere exposure effect,
we tend to like people better the more we see them.
2. Do nice things for that person. “We prefer to see those to whom we do good than those
who do good to us,” as La Rochefoucauld observed.
3. Give that person a brief touch. Subliminal touching, i.e., touching a person so unobtrusively that it’s not noticed,
increases people’s sense of well-being and positive feelings.
4. Lighten up. Joke about whatever annoys you, and if you can manage it, laugh about it with that person,
or poke fun at your own reaction. Nothing neutralizes bad feelings like a good laugh.
This can be tough, however.
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