Sarcastic one liners

Deepika (CA Aspirant) (298 Points)

15 February 2016  
  • I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
  • If I agreed with you then we'd both be wrong
  • I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you
  • Looks like I over-estimated the number of your brain cells.
  • Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue
  • Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

  • I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.              

  • Don't get lost in your thoughts. You will be a stranger there.

  • A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.

  • Always remember that you are absolutely unique... Just like everyone else...

  • I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian..
  • Oh... I didn't tell you... Then It must be none of your business..
  • Oh... Sorry... Did you mistake me for someone who cares?
  • I don’t think you are stupid. You just have a bad luck when thinking
  • You’re about as sharp as a bowling ball
  • Hey, I know everyone has a right to be stupid but you're just abusing the privilege.
  • I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you, just accurately.
  • I don't hate you, just that if you were in a room with Bin Laden and Hitler and I had only two bullets... I'd shoot you twice.
  • You have a very annoying habit - breathing.
  • I would love to lose weight but I hate losing.
  • She said she loves me. I said 'Yeah, I love myself too'.
  •  Secrets to sucess: A. Never reveal your secrets. B.
  • Perfect has 7 letters and so does meeeeee. Coincidence?
  • A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

  • I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

  • Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

  • I wasn't lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth

  • If I promise to miss you, will you go away?

  • I'm smiling. This should scare you.

  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

  • Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

     

    PS: No offence. Just for fun