jokes

CA CS CIMA Prakash Somani (Landmark Group) (23502 Points)

22 February 2008  
Joke 1
XYZ: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
XYZ: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
XYZ: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..

Joke 2
XYZ tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b
there....... ...... Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there

Joke 3
A XYZ went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. After seeing the Form
He had gone to DELHI for filling up. U know y?
FORM say " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".

Joke 4
A XYZ invested 5 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was?
. . . .. . . . . . . . He opened a Hair Cutting Saloon in Punjab village!.

Joke 5
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
A XYZ stands up- we must find & stop her!.

Joke 6
XYZ-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
XYZ-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

Joke 7
19 XYZS WENT 4A FILM.ON ASKING THEM Y THEY CAME IN A BIG GROUP OF 19?
THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY FOR ABOVE 18...

Joke 8
A XYZ ji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral
function, suddenly all relatives beat him why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Joke 9
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
XYZ: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

Joke 10
XYZ gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the
branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. XYZ: "I've been
promoted as branch manager."

Joke 11
XYZji standing below a tube light with a open mouth....... ......... .
WHY?
because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should be light"_-=

Joke 12
XYZji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as
to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!

Joke 13
XYZ & FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF - I XYZ,SHE
XYZNEE, THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY KIDNEY....

Joke 14
One XYZji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U knw Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Joke 15
XYZ told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It"s already
raining. XYZ: So what take an umbrella and go.

Joke 16
Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, XYZ jumps from 100th floor
At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25flr:I'm unmarried!
At 10flr:I'm Banta not santa

Joke 17
ON A ROMANTIC DATE XYZS GIRL FRIEND ASKS HIM,DARLING ON OUR
ENGAGEMENT WILL U GIVE ME A RING?
HE SAID YA SURE WHATS YOUR PHONE NUMBER

Joke 18
XYZ found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

Joke 19
A dog was chasing a XYZ and the XYZ was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing?
XYZ: I have a Air cell phone but still hutch network is following
me.

Joke 20
XYZ wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after
deducting tax. Angry XYZ: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20Rs back.!

Joke 21
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket
match. All were busy writing except one XYZji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Joke 22
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
XYZ:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

Joke 23
What does a XYZ do after taking a xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Joke 24
XYZ proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to
you'........ ...XYZ said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you NEXT
YEAR.

Joke 25
WHY CANT XYZS DIAL NINE-ELEVEN (911) AT EMERGENCY?
** THEY CAN NOT FIND THE ELEVEN ON THE PHONE.

Joke 26
XYZ & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
XYZ says... Drink quickly..... .
Wife asks why...
XYZ says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10

Joke 27
XYZ's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly
in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d car he was
driving..

Joke 28
XYZ at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what
you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

Joke 29
XYZ was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
XYZ: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

Joke 30
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab .
Local XYZs have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

Joke 31
A man asked XYZji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
XYZji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Joke 32
XYZ visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
XYZ goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"

Joke 33
XYZji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing ?
He said-I m seeing how i look while sleeping.