None of us get through life unscathed. We all have difficulties. We have problems. We all have wishes for life to be a little bit easier. That's normal. And the thing to remember is...
"No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." ~ Albert Einstein
Most of the problems we have in life appear to be caused by circumstances and people beyond us. We often feel that changes are happening "to" us. Because of that, we try to solve problems using a faulty logic system.
It goes something like this...
"This other person hurt me. I am angry and sad. That person is bad/hurtful/mean because he made me angry and sad. I will try to make that person realize how much I am hurt. After he apologizes, I will feel better. Then we can be close again."
While that may help us temporarily feel better, it's not a lasting solution. Every time we are hurt, it requires somebody else to take responsibility for our pain.
In having enough challenges in my life, I have realized that the most important "problems" can only be "solved" by deep understanding of myself. That's why whenever there are changes in my life, I always look inward to understand more deeply.
"There is nothing permanent except change." ~ Heraclitus
We live in a world of of constant change. Emotions and relationships can come and go like the wind. Because of this, looking to others to make us feel better is a recipe for disaster.
What if the other person doesn't know he wronged you?
What if the other person dies and he can never reconcile your pain?
What if the other person just really doesn't care as much as you do?
Oh there's probably a million "what ifs" that could make it impossible to ever receive the external validation that we often want.
Here's a different what if...
What if we did the inner work to fundamentally change our view of the world?
"I can choose peace instead of this." ~ A Course In Miracles
This is what we can do whenever we hurt inside. We can look within to ask ourselves questions like:
"Right now, how can I view this situation differently?"
"What don't I understand about myself that is causing me pain right now?"
"What don't I understand about the other person right now?"
"Right now, why do I incorrectly believe that the other person is responsible for my emotions?"
"How can I be more present in this moment right now?"
"Is it possible that I'm not being completely authentic right now?"
"What is blocking me from feeling love and compassion right now?"
Not all of those questions can always be answered immediately because most of our perceived problems come from our subconscious mind.
That's part of why Albert Einstein says we need a different level of CONSCIOUSNESS to solve problems. We try too hard to solve conscious problems with conscious attention. Sure the conscious attention helps. But fundamentally the only way to really solve the "outer world" problems is to do "inner world" transformation on our subconscious minds.
Interestingly enough, those "outer" world problems begin to resolve themselves, slowly but surely, as a consequence of doing that inner world work.
"Be the change you wish to see in the world." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Coming full circle...
When we are going through a difficult time, we don't look to others to fix the pain We feel. It's not their fault. They are not responsible for our emotions.
We focus on the change we want to be.
And we trust that by extension of our inner changes, the outer world "problems" will find their natural resolution.
!..Read and React..!
CAclubindia
