wonderful definations must read!!!

CA. ANKUR JAIN (CA.....) (2800 Points)

12 November 2009  

Wonderful Definitions :

School:

A place where Parents pay and children play

Life Insurance:

A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:

A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage :

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters..

Divorce

Future tense of Marriage.

Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture:

 An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise :

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

Dictionary :

A place where success comes before work

Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

Father:

A banker provided by nature

Criminal:

A person no different from the rest ...except that he/she got caught

Boss :

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections.

DOCTOR :

A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic Books:

which people praise, but do not read. Smile A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. Etc. A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb :

An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise