Wonderful Definations

Ajay Rajai (Tax Advocate (Consultant) I.T and Documentation of Properties)   (705 Points)

19 April 2011  

 

 

CIGARETTE:       A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at  one end and a fool at the other!

 

MARRIAGE:         It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.


LECTURE:            An art of transmitting Information from the  notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either.


CONFERENCE:    The confusion of one man multiplied by the  number present.


COMPROMISE:   The art of dividing a cake in such a way that  everybody believes he got the biggest piece.


TEARS:                The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!


DICTIONARY:    A place where divorce comes before marriage.


CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.


ECSTASY:           A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.


CLASSIC:             A book which people praise, but never read.


SMILE:                 A curve that can set a lot of things straight!


OFFICE:               A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life


YAWN:                 The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth.


ETC:                     A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

COMMITTEE:      Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

EXPERIENCE:     The name men give to their Mistakes.


ATOM BOMB:     An invention to bring an end to all inventions.


PHILOSOPHER:  A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.


DIPLOMAT:         A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.


OPPORTUNIST: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.


OPTIMIST:         A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"


PESSIMIST:        A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY.


MISER:                A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!


FATHER:              A banker provided by nature.


CRIMINAL:          A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught.


BOSS:                  Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


POLITICIAN:      One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later.


DOCTOR:            A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills!