Why are we blind to our own mistakes

09 July 2015

We all make mistakes. There are times when we accept our mistakes, learn from our mistakes and move on in life. However most of the times, we don’t own up to our mistakes. There could be several reasons for not owning mistakes but this is one of the root causes of most of the problems in Human Life.

I am sure all of you would have come across cases, where any rational thinking person can make out whose fault it is. But the person who is actually at fault fails to realize his mistake. He could be our life partner, friend, neighbour, relative or colleague in office. This person will keep on defending his act or behaviour so religiously that makes us wonder, “How on earth can he be so dumb or illogical that he cannot make out that he is at fault this time. Or is it a case where he knows that he is wrong but is not willing to relent?”

I will give you few examples so that you can better understand what I am talking about. There is a person who is doing exceptionally well in his professional life. He is very good in his behaviour with his colleagues and subordinates. While dealing with wife, his behaviour is good most of the times. But whenever anything is done by her against his wishes, he becomes extremely rude and irrational. Then it’s only a one way communication without giving the other party any chance to explain her point of view. The justification given is that actually she is stubborn.

Let’s take another person who is actually very helpful and God fearing. He recently told me that he is living in a flat for which he has been giving the landlord rent of only Rs. 100/- per month for last 20 years. There was no feeling of repentance or guilt in him. And I was wondering, for me this person has been a good friend all this while. But imagine what sort of feelings the Landlord will be having for this person? And why cannot this person see through his act of wrong doing?

Amidst these examples, how can we forget our Mr. Thief who may innocently give you an excuse that his act of theft is fully justified? He is very poor and he has a big family to feed. He has ailing parents to look after. If this is the case, then what about the chain snatchings being carried out by young boys coming on bikes and belonging to affluent families. Or why do youngsters from rich families carry out acts of car theft? Does their conscience not question them? What justification they have for their acts? Is it that their parents are not giving them enough pocket money to enjoy their life to fullest?

What happens in the case of broken marriages? Boy has his set of justifications for opting for separation. Girl has her reasons why she cannot pull on. Both sides will give their side of compromises they had been making till date. Both sides will tell their version of story to their near and dear ones. But the boy and girl will never give the other side a patient hearing to understand their point of view. And even if the sides talk, they are just unable to understand each other’s point of view. And then we get frustrated, why this person cannot understand my point of view.

Now let’s look at a situation at work place. You may have come across situations where you tried your best to explain the reasons for certain acts to your subordinate. You thought you had gone that extra mile to cheer him and let him come out of his agony and pain. Still you find that this sub ordinate does not want to look beyond short term personal benefits. And he is unwilling to look at the bigger brighter picture.

I know we all need to look within ourselves to change ourselves. We need to look things from others perspective. We need to step in others shoes to understand their point of view. We cannot change others.

All this is fine. But today I am talking about scenarios where you tried the above principles but failed. There are situations where bringing changes in our self alone would not work. We live in society. We need reciprocation from others. How long can one sided efforts carry on relationships in life. There are relationships likes Husband and Wife, Father and Son, Mother and Daughter, Boss and Subordinate, Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-law etc. You can choose your friends. But there are certain relationships where you have no choice. You cannot avoid these relationships by just opting for separation.

Frankly speaking, I don’t have solution for these problems. I sincerely hope if we could read the minds of other people, we could have a better understanding of their behaviour. I am sure you all come across people facing similar situations in day to day life. Please share your experiences and how do you handle these situations. It will be of great help to all readers.

Photo Credit : Freedigitalphotos.net by 89studio’s