Accountant
A person who works with numbers but lacks the personality to be an economist.
Bank
A place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. (Bob Hope)
Bargain
Something you can't use offered at a price you can't resist. (Ned Kelly)
Broke
What you are after working with a financial advisor.
Budget
A mathematical system designed to remind you that you can't afford the kind of living you've grown accustomed to.
bull market
A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.