The Best 50 of Murphy's Law
You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
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Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
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Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
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Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
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If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
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The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.
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The attention span of a computer is only as long as it electrical cord.
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An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
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Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
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All great discoveries are made by mistake.
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Always draw your curves, then plot your reading.
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Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
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All's well that ends.
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A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
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The first myth of management is that it exists.
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A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
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New systems generate new problems.
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To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
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We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything.
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Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
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Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
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A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.
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The faster a computer is, the faster it will reach a crashed state.
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Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work.
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Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.
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The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.
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To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.
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After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.
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Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.
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A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works.
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If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.
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Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
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Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a "Pearl Harbor File."
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Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
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If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.
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The more cordial the buyer's secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order.
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In designing any type of construction, no overall dimension can be totalled correctly after 4:30 p.m. on Friday. The correct total will become self-evident at 8:15 a.m. on Monday.
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Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches.
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All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.
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The only perfect science is hind-sight.
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Work smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling.
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If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.
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If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
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When all else fails, read the instructions.
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If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
***********
Everything that goes up must come down.
***********
Any instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner.
***********
Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way.
***********
Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.
***********
The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.
***********
Any attempt to print Murphy's laws will jam the printer.
***********
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
***********
Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
***********
Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
***********
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
***********
The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.
***********
The attention span of a computer is only as long as it electrical cord.
***********
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
***********
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.
***********
All great discoveries are made by mistake.
***********
Always draw your curves, then plot your reading.
***********
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
***********
All's well that ends.
***********
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
***********
The first myth of management is that it exists.
***********
A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
***********
New systems generate new problems.
***********
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
***********
We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything.
***********
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
***********
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
***********
A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.
***********
The faster a computer is, the faster it will reach a crashed state.
***********
Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work.
***********
Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.
***********
The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.
***********
To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.
***********
After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.
***********
Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.
***********
A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works.
***********
If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.
***********
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
***********
Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a "Pearl Harbor File."
***********
Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
***********
If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.
***********
The more cordial the buyer's secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order.
***********
In designing any type of construction, no overall dimension can be totalled correctly after 4:30 p.m. on Friday. The correct total will become self-evident at 8:15 a.m. on Monday.
***********
Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches.
***********
All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door.
***********
The only perfect science is hind-sight.
***********
Work smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling.
***********
If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.
***********
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
***********
When all else fails, read the instructions.
***********
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
***********
Everything that goes up must come down.
***********
Any instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner.
***********
Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way.
***********
Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.
***********
The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.
***********
Any attempt to print Murphy's laws will jam the printer.
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