Soft skills

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CA Manish K Dhoot

CA B. Com NCFM CPCM

5015 Points Joined February 2008

Communication Skills

Human beings communicate through three ways

Ø Speaking

Ø Listening.

Ø Writing,

We shall deal with each one aspect of communication separately. Let’s start with speaking skills

Successful communication is an exchange, two people sharing insights on the same topic. Their insights might be diametrically opposed, but each expresses an opinion and listens to the response.

Many times the conversation instead of being a dialogue becomes a monologue. Only one person does all the talking and the other listens. This leads to breakdown in conversations. Good conversation like good tennis needs volleying from both sides.

So remember when you converse allow the other person to air his / her opinion. Try to understand his view if possible even if it is totally against your opinion.

Whether speaking to an audience of hundreds or of one, strengthen your speaking- and your image with a short silent pause. We often clutter our speech with verbal crutches-“like”, “Uhh” “Err” “Well” . We lean on these crutches to fill the silence when thinking of the next idea or word. The silence is better.

If you use these crutches break the habit by pausing. Make no sound. You will be surprised to see how quickly the next word pops up. And you will find the silence is hardly noticeable.

Dealing with sensitive issues:-

Candor and directness are admirable qualities but sometimes tact works more effectively. If the issue is sensitive and can lead to confrontation tread a bit carefully. Use the following three diplomatic techniques especially if the issue is raised at your workplace:-

1. Lower your voice and control your tone-

Its true hostility can be conveyed in a whisper but that’s less likely if you control/ soften your tone of voice.

2. Cushion the impact of criticism with expressions like “maybe” and “we might consider”- Such expressions can prompt an open response. For example-

“Maybe we can approach it another way” sounds much better.

3. Use the passive voice to focus on the issue not the individual-

Instead of :- You designed the concept to….

Try: - The concept seems designed to…

The words you choose and the way you deliver them can turn confrontation into resolution.

How to complain in the right manner:-

1. Be straightforward- State the problem and not how much you are frustrated.

2. Offer a solution- Explain what you would like done to resolve the problem rather than leaving it up to the other person. For example “ If it would be easier to send a duplicate invoice since the original seems missing” Don’t say- “ “You have lost the original invoice. ….” Many people don’t understand when to stop complaining. Even if the other person is wrong offer a solution to get out of the . The offender will also be happy that you didn’t make a issue out of his mistake.

3. Stay Calm- Raising your voice and blood pressure won’t be of much help to you or have a positive effect on a lackadaisical performer. This is because when you finish getting mad and stomping around you will still have to deal with the person who would then be even less likely to help solve the problem.

4. Try a smile- Research suggests that people who walk around (or talk) with a smile have a much higher success rate at getting what they want.

Small Talk:-

You are in the elevator and the Managing Director enters. As the elevator ascends the silence builds. You search desperately for something to say. What do you say? You think what the MD will think if you say nothing.

Casual meetings may not advance or derail your career, but they do add to the impression people form of you. In such situations sparkling conversation is not expected but small talk is.

So what do you talk about-?

1. Don’t try to be brilliant- Most people don’t expect it in casual meetings.

2. Turn the spotlight on the other person- Ask about the other person’s family, vacation plans etc.” What do you think of the weather” is not exactly original but can work as an ice breaker.

3. Compliment carefully. Give sincere praise. False flattery can back fire.

4. Use friendly body language- Smile, make eye contact and don’t fold you arms. Many times the other person may be just as uncomfortable as you are. So any small talk will be welcome.

How to make an effective oral presentation.

While hard work and good ideas are essential to success, your ability to express those ideas and get others to join you is just as important. Much of this is on one or in small groups but periodically you will be involved in more formal and public speaking in front of larger numbers. If this thought makes you nervous you are not alone. Many speakers lack the skills and confidence to make effective presentations. The fear of public speaking is the second largest fear in the world.

Tips to improve your presentation:-

1) Formulate a strategy for the specific audience:- Be clear about the purpose of your communication. Knowing the audience will be a critical determinant in what information is presented. Be concrete, specific, practical and relevant. Clarify your objectives-Is it to motivate?.. Inform?… persuade?…. Teach? Each calls for a different approach.

2) Write the presentation in rough, never read from a scriptt. You should know most of what you want to say, if you don’t then you should not be giving the talk! Prepare cue cards which have key phrases and words, Don’t forget to number the cards in case you drop them.

3) Greet the audience and tell them who you are. Then follow this formula:-

Ø Tell the audience what you are going to tell them.

Ø Then tell them

Ø At the end tell them what you have told them.

4) Keep the time allowed.

5) Use your hands to emphasize points but don’t indulge in too much hand waving. Move around. But don’t block the projector.

6) Look at your audience and try to make eye contact with each person. Eye contact helps to move your presentation from “speech” to “conversation” involving everyone in the audience. Don’t lock your gaze with one person. That may be intimidating.

7) Avoid too much information on the slides. Just display the points then elaborate them.

Some presenters fill slides with so much detail that the audience just reads the slides ignoring the presenters. By keeping the slides lean, you convey the essentials with greater emphasis and you force the audience to turn to you for detail. Use color on slides but avoid orange and yellow which do not show well when projected.

8) Speakers, who pound the podium, jingle change in their pockets or do other things focus attention on themselves rather than the subject.

9) Speak clearly. Don’t shout or whisper.

10) Room Lightning should be considered. Too much light near the screen will make it difficult to see the detail. On the other hand a completely darkened room can send the audience to sleep.

11) Use numbers to help the audience follow and grasp your information. For example: - I have two major objectives for today’s meeting.

12) Don’t worry if you are not grammatically sound. It is more important to remain cool and try to convey your ideas. Of course it is advisable to improve your language as it does have an impact on the audience. However your presentation will be better if you stop worrying about the audiences’ reaction to lack of grammatical correctness.

13) Stage Fright:- Following are some techniques to cope with this fright:-

Ø Your audience understands your nervousness; they will forgive any honest mistakes.

Ø Chat with members of the audience before the presentation. You will not find them that threatening.

Ø Practice deep breathing exercises before taking the podium.

Ø Rehearse your presentation a few times.

14) Use language that can move people. Churchill might never had made such a strong impact on the world had he written” Essentially my contribution includes sanguinary composition, diligence effort and commitment”. Fortunately he spoke in language that could move people “I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, sweat and tears”.

15) Get your audience involved. Ask them questions. Give various anecdotes to liven up your presentation.

16) The only way to be a good presenter is through practice. You can form small groups with friends to practice.

Replies (2)

CA Manish K Dhoot

CA B. Com NCFM CPCM

5015 Points Joined February 2008

Listening Skills

We were given two ears but only one mouth. This is because God knew that listening was twice as hard as talking. Listening is rarely taught at school; because educators and everyone else assume listening is tantamount to breathing… automatic. But effective listening is a skill. Like any other skill competency in listening is achieved through learning and practice.

Listening takes time or more accurately you have to take time to listen. A life programmed, a mind constantly buzzing with plans, anxieties, and schemes is difficult to hear. Other barriers to listening are:-

Ø Worry, fear, anger, grief and depression

Ø Individual bias and prejudices

Ø Semantics and language difference

Ø Noise and verbal clutter

Ø Boredom, shrinking attention span.

Listening is a precious gift- the gift of time. It helps build relationships, solve problems resolve conflicts and improve conflicts. At work it means fewer errors and less waste of time. Listening builds friendships and careers. It saves money and marriages.

How can we improve listening skills? The first skill that you can practice to be a good listener is to act like a good listener. Face the speaker and maintain eye contact. Your eyes pick up the non verbal signals that all people send out when they are speaking. A speaker will work harder at sending out the information when they see a receptive audience in attendance. Your eyes complete the communication circuit that must be established between speaker and listener.

Be attentive yet relaxed. Listen carefully so that you can understand, comprehend and evaluate. Careful listening will require a conscious effort on your part. Be mentally and physically prepared to listen. Put other thoughts out of your mind.

When beginning a conversation with others keep in mind that everyone is a decision maker and a customer for your ideas. Their decision about whether to cooperate and how much effort to put into it influence your results.

Begin listening to others from a neutral open minded state. This allows you to concentrate and focus on what others are saying to you. Listen with empathy. See the situation from other’s point of view. Demonstrate respect for their point of view.

Pay attention not only to the logical content of what someone is saying but also to how to say it, that is how they feel about the subject under discussion. It turns out how people feel about an issue or a person is a key determinant in decision making. If you listen to emotions rather than words you will notice an interesting thing- You will absorb both and understanding will be deeper.

Don’t argue mentally. First listen, absorb what the speaker is saying and think over it. Don’t antagonize the speaker. This could cause someone to conceal important ideas, emotions and attitudes.

To become an active listener ponder over the following-

Ø Who is talking to me? It is important to determine your relationship with the speaker. Acquaintances and coworkers have different relationship than a spouse, parent etc.

Ø What is actually being said? To make certain you understand what is being communicated try paraphrasing the speaker’s remarks and asking follow up questions. (Paraphrasing means restating a message but usually with fewer words. This is to test the understanding of what you heard, to communicate that you are trying to understand what is being said.

Ø Why is the person telling me this?

Ø Determine whether the speaker is seeking help with a problem is attempting to persuade or is simply passing on information about a situation.

When you find yourself drifting away during a listening session change your body position. Make certain everyone involved gets an opportunity to voice their opinions. Don’t let one person dominate the conversation. When listening for long stretches focus on keywords and issues. When in doubt about whether to listen or speak keep listening.

Ask open questions. Open questions help a person to explore their feelings. The answer is not ‘Yes’ or ‘No’.

Eg: - Speaker- I didn’t like the show.

Listener- What didn’t you like about it?

Use ‘I see’... ‘Oh Really’ words and phrases as they follow and encourage your speakers train of thought. These responses let the speaker know that you are listening and understanding.

These skills are easy to describe. They are much more difficult to put into daily practice. However, they can be improved through practice and training. The challenge is to go beyond standard listening technique, to really build genuine skill and competence at listening and communication.

CA Manish K Dhoot

CA B. Com NCFM CPCM

5015 Points Joined February 2008

WRITING SKILLS

Having good writing skills can be useful at all times. Some could naturally have good writing skills, while some may lack these skills. However, everyone can gain quality writing skills if they try. Here are some useful tips to improve your writing skills-

1) Write – Write something each day. If you don’t practice you won’t gain anything. But if you are wondering what to write? You can write about an incident that happened to you or about anything interesting that caught your eye while you are walking on the street.

2) Target your writing- It is essential to have a clear idea who your reader is. You should know why he or she is going to be reading your piece, where and when they will be reading it and what they will want to get out of it. This will allow you to decide the aim for the article. You should focus all decisions on content, structure, style and presentation on meeting this aim.

3) Outline- Once you have decided the aim you are ready to prepare an outline. This allows you to start to organize the information in an article into a coherent structure. If you start writing without an outline you are in danger of producing a disorganized, chaotic mess that confuses your reader and fails to make the desired connections in his or her mind.

4) Write section wise – Once you have prepared your outline its time to start writing!. Once you have finished a section review it. As you review it check that what you have written meets the aim you set and gives the reader the information they want.

5) Use short sentences - People prefer information to be presented in short sentences with little or no jargon. Don’t use long words and complex sentences as this shows that you are not able to communicate ideas clearly. If you need to use technical language that may not be understood include a glossary.

6) Persuasion Writing- Certain types of writing involve doing your most to persuade the reader to accept your recommendations. The following process can be very effective in such situations to persuade-

a) A clear statement of the reader’s problem.

b) A clear statement of the consequences for the reader of not solving the problem.

c) A clear statement of your proposed solution to the problem.

d) A clear statement of the benefits to the reader of solving the problem.

e) A clear request for a specific action.

6) Use new fonts while typing your report. ‘Georgia’ and ‘Verdana’ fonts in Microsoft Word appear easier to read than older fonts like ‘Times’ and ‘Arial’.

7) Here are some books which can help you in business writing-

Sr. No	Topic	Author
1	Business Writing. A Complete guide to developing an effective business writing style	Andrea B. Geffner
2	How to create high impact business reports	Joyce Kupsh
3	Successful Business Writing. How to write effective letters, proposals, resumes speeches.	Lassor A. Blumenthal.
4	Write to the top- Working for Corporate Success	Deborah Dumaine