One should talk directly to someone instead of gossiping about him, only he can tell you the truth, People waste lot of time & energy instead of talking directly to that person whom they doubt or want to know about, How he feels nobody knows this, there are many suicide cases in India which are due to only one thing that person have been made guilty without any reason. What an irony someone has to suffer just because of those who have become irrational & insane.
https://www.appletoncivilityconsortium.org/tips-dont-gossip.H T M L
Don't Gossip
"Be Impeccable With Your Word.
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love."
Tips on How Not to Gossip
Gossip can be found in just about every place people gather. Some will say it’s just harmless fun but rarely is that the case. In fact, it’s a great way to destroy your own self confidence. Gossip is seductive though and it’s very easy to get caught up in it. But, have you ever thought about why you do it when you know you shouldn’t?
Here are the main reasons people gossip:
It makes you feel more powerful or popular
To attract attention and feel centre stage for a moment
It makes you feel like you’re part of a group (bond with co-workers)
To be seen as “in the know”
Because you’re frustrated and just want to vent
Gossip is an attempt To Gain control.
It’s also sometimes used as a way to boost your self confidence but it ends up doing the exact opposite. If you find that you do gossip, you need to take a look at what’s happening in your life. Do you feel like you’re powerless? What positive changes can you make? .
Why am I or you Doing This?
If someone gossips to you, you need to ask, “why are they telling you this information?”. You’ll probably find that at least one of the above points will answer your question. This tells you a lot about the person who’s gossiping to you.
What Really Happens When You Gossip
You lose all credibility with your co-workers and people will no longer trust you. They’ll wonder what you’re saying about them to other people. They'll also feel if they tell you something in confidence, you may spread that information. Once you lose your integrity, it’s very hard to get it back.
Don't Be Paranoid
You’re going to worry about what others are saying about you. You end up making yourself paranoid when you probably don’t need to be. It creates conflict for no reason. It decreases the morale of your workplace/school which in turn will affect your own mind set and It cuts productivity; yours and others.
Karma
Karma – remember the old saying, “what goes around, comes around”. When we spread rumours and gossip, it will end up coming back to hurt us.
These are all the things that end up damaging your self confidence.
Before You Gossip, Ask Yourself These Questions:
Why are you doing it? Would you want other people to know that kind of information about you? Usually it’s best to just “bite your tongue”. And the more often you resist the temptation of gossip, the easier it will get. Gossip is just not worth it.
How To Avoid Gossip
• Change the subject – try to have something else you can talk about. Make it a positive subject.
• Distraction techniques – "Hey, do you want to go get a coffee?” Get the person distracted on to something else.
• Don’t say anything – just let them finish and don’t say anything. They’ll quickly learn that you aren’t interested in gossiping.
• Tell the person – you can tell the person you’re not comfortable about talking about the particular subject. For example if someone is telling you about the latest rumour that your department is about to undergo staff cuts, you can say , “it’s a rumour. I don’t want to think about that until I know it’s true. I can handle whatever happens. It’s not worth worrying about things that may never happen.” Or if someone starts talking about someone else, you can say, “Let’s wait to discuss that until Joe can be here in person.”
Just Avoid It!
Each time you avoid getting involved in gossip, the easier it will get. It’s the first couple of times that it will be a conscious effort to resist the temptation. It helps if you can remember the benefits you will gain by not slipping into this bad habit. You will find that your self confidence starts to improve greatly and people will have more respect for you. You’ll probably also find that you don’t waste anywhere near as much as time as you used to worrying about things that never come to pass. You’ll be able to focus on what’s important and what you want to accomplish in your life.
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