Really Cheesy One-liners

Money won't buy friends, but you have a better class of enemy.

-Spike Milligan

I don't consider myself bald. I am simply taller than my hair!!

- Thom Sharp

Imagine if there were no hypothetical situations!!

- John Mendoza

I've been on a calender, but I've never been on time.

- Marylin Monroe

It's not that am afraid to die... It's just that i don't want to be there when it happens...!!

- Woody Allen

I have my standards. They may be low.... but I have them!!

- Bette Midler

When I was born, I was so surprised!! I coudn't talk for a year and a half!!

- Gracie Allen

I really didn't say everything I said!!

- Yogi Berra

If you haven't got anything good to say about anyone, come and sit by me...!!

- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Have you ever noticed that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone driving faster than you is a maniac..??!!

- George Carlin