Please help...this is not just my problem

AS WE ALL KNOW THAT ICAI PROVIDES OPTION TO STUDENTS TO GIVE THEIR EXAMS IN HINDI OR ENGLISH.

MY QUERY IS:

THE STUDENTS WHO HAVE A HINDI BACKGROUND  ARE LESS COMFORTABLE WITH ENGLISH, WILL THEY GET GOOD JOBS??

THOUGH I AM FROM AN ENGLISH MEDIUM I TOO FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE IN DECODING ENGLISH (MANY TIMES).

WHEN THE TEACHERS EXPLAIN US IN HINDI OR HINGLISH, I FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE AND ALONGWITH THAT I UNDERSTAND MY SUBJECT(S) CONCEPTUALLY RATHER THAN MUGGING UP EACH AND EVERY WORD LIKE WE DID IN SCHOOL.

SINCE I DIDN’T TOOK ANY TUTIONS FOR LAW AND AUDIT (MUGGED UP FOR IPCC) MY CONCEPTS ARE WEAK…

UNDERSTANDING THE FACTS (EVEN A SMALL DEFINITON) IS VERY CRUCIAL BUT OBVIOUSLY KOI BHI TEACHER EK- EK LINE KA MATLAB TOH SAMJHAYEGA NAHI.

 I ASKED A FRIEND OF MINE ABOUT COMPANY, MEMORANDUM, ARTICLES AND SIMILAR QUESTIONS AND I GOT THE BOOKISH REPLIES ALTHOUGH HE TOOK TUTIONS FROM VERY GOOD TEACHERS….NOW AISI KNOWLEDGE KE SAATH AGAR HUMSE KOI KUCH PUCH LE YA HUME KAHI APPLY KARNI PAD JAYE TAB HUM KYA KARENGE??

ARTICLESHIP MEIN ZARURI NAHI HAI KI HUME SAB KUCH SAMAJH AA JAYE YA KOI HUME SAMJHADEGA.

 I HAVE SEEN STUDENTS PURSUING CS, CA, etc,

HAVE THE DESIRE TO GET DEGREE RATHER THAN KNOWLEDGE.

AND SOME WHO WANT TO GET GOOD KNOWLEDGE ALONG WITH DEGREE (ME)

FAILS TO GET IT DUE TO POOR ENGLISH,LACK OF GENERAL AWARENESS AND TO SOME EXTENT LACK OF INTEREST TOO.

STUDYING HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY PASSION (I AM NOT A BOOK WORM AND DON’T WANT TO BE  ”CHATUR” OF 3 IDIOTS) AND THIS WAS THE REASON FOR WHICH I JOINED “CA” (BEING FROM A COMMERCE BACKGROUND AND NO PERSONAL INTEREST).BUT NOW AFTER SPENDING 3.5 YRS OF MY LIFE IN IT I HAVE REALISED THAT WHATEVER  I DID TILL DATE WAS MORE OR LESS LIKE MANY OTHER STUDENT,I HAVE ALSO LEARNED THE FORM RATHER THAN UNDERSTANDING THE SUBSTANCE.

IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT I DON’T WANT TO UNDERTAND THE SUBSTANCE..

IT IS JUST BECAUSE I LACK MANY THINGS AS A PERSON, AS A STUDENT(KUCH KAMIYA HAI AUR KUCH KHAMIYA HAI) CA HAS BECOME A COURSE FOR ME RATHER THAN A CAREER.

I ALSO TRIED TO FIND OUT MY INTEREST BUT I REALISED THAT I HAD NO INTEREST IN MY LIFE OTHER THAN STUDIES.

TODAY I FEEL ASHAMED OF MYSELF EVEN AFTER BEING A CA FINALIST.

IT IS AN ASTOUNDING THING THAT THE POINT OF TIME WHEN MY FRIENDS ARE GOING TO APPEAR IN THEIR CA FINALS IN MAY12, I AM THINKING- WHAT TO DO ??

KYA KARU?  MAIN AISA KYUN HU?

I MET MANY STUDENTS WHO HAS A VERY  GOOD INTELLECT AND THEY ARE MATURED ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THE NORMAL THINGS AROUND THEM LIKE POLITICS, BUSINESS WORLD, SHARE MARKET, ETC, ETC. I FEEL LIKE INFERIOR, INSANE AND IMMATURE GUY WHO IS UNABLE TO ACCEPT AND ADAPT THE CHANGES.

APNE AAP KO AUR APNE PARENTS KO JAISE MAIN DHOKA DE RAHA HU..AISA FEEL HO RAHA HAI.

ARTICLESHIP BHI EK SMALL FIRM MEIN KAR RAHA HU WHERE I GOT TO LEARN ONLY CASH/BANK VOUCHING AND CONCURRENT AUDIT OF A BANK…IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A DUMMY STUDENT.

MANY OF YOU MAY BE THINKING WHY DID  I  WROTE SUCH A STUFF NOW…IT IS BECAUSE THESE THINGS ARE DISTURBING ME FROM LAST 1.5 YEAR AND I WAS ALSO UNABLE TO UNDERSTAND MYSELF.

INN SABKI WAJAH SE MUJHE DARR HAI KI EVEN AGAR MAIN KISI TARAH CA BAN BHI GAYA TOH BHI MAIN KISI KAAM KA NAHI.

NA TOH MERE MEN ZYADA SKILLS HAI, NA HI ACHE CONCEPTS,NA HI ACHA EXPOSURE MILA HAI AUR NA HI MERI GENERAL AWARENESS HAI IN RESPECT OF MANY THINGS EVEN NEWSPAPER PADHNA BHI PAHAAD LAGTA HAI AUR USSE  AAM ADMI KI TARAH SAMAJHNA AUR BHI MUSKIL.

SIP TRAINIG KE WAQT BHI I FELT JHE SAME AND USS DIN BHI MAIN 2 BAJE TAK JAGTA RAHA BUT I WAS HELPLESS.

THESE ARE NOT JUST “MY” PROBLEM, INFACT I MET MANY GUYS AND GIRLS LIKE ME…ITS JUST THAT I CARE FOR MY FUTURE…I AM WORRIED AND TENSED.

EK DIN AISA NAHI HAI JO MUJHE YE SAB YAAD NAHI DILATA. I HAVE  CRIED A LOT FOR THESE THINGS.

READ MANY ARTICLES ABOUT CA, CA’S LIFE, AVERAGE STUDENT etc, etc AND MANY OTHER THINGS ON THIS PLATFORM BUT FOUND THAT JO BAATEIN SIRF SUNNE MEIN ACHI LAGTI HAI UNKA HAR EK PE APPLICABLE HONA ZARURI TOH NAHI.

MAIN YE NAHI KEH RAHA THAT THEY ARE COMPLETELY WRONG.

MAIN KAI LOGO KO MESSAGE KARKE AUR APNE DIMAAAG MEIN AANE WALE KAI STUPID AND INSENSIBLE

QUERIES  KO RESOLVE KARWANA CHAHA BUT KABHI SAMJHA NAHI KI MERI REAL PROBLEM KYA HAI.

BUT AB JAB SAMAJH MEIN AA GAI HAI MAIN FINALS SE SIRF EK SAAL DUR HU.

MUJHE CA MEIN PASS/FAIL HONE KA DARR NAHI HAI, DARR LIFE MEIN FAIL HONE KA HAI.

AUR AGAR CA BANTA HU TOH BHI YE DARR TOH RHEGA HI.

I DON’T BLAME OTHERS AND CAN’T EVEN BLAME MYSELF (COMPLETELY) FOR THIS SITUATION BUT YES I AM SEEKING A RIGHT SOLUTION FOR IT.

I HOPE I WAS ABLE TO CONVEY MYSELF IN A PROPER MANNER.

AND SOME OF YOU WILL GIVE A PROPER ADVICE/SUGGESTION ON THE BASIS OF YOUR EXPERIENCES AS WELL AS AFTER UNDERSTANDING ME (AND MY PROBLEM).KYOKI SAARI UNGLIYA EK SAMAAN NAHI HOTI.