Pata nai kuch hoga bhi kya mera...

i don't think i was a bad student till 12th not an intelligent 1, neither a below average one. so indeed an above average student i guess. i scored 85% in 12th. as i was not clear what to do after boards , on my teacher's recommendation i enrolled for cpt. gave it cleared it in the very 1st attempt. i got my admission in a medium range college. i went their for about a month but then as i cleared cpt suddenly thrie was a hype around me as in i have cleard ca finals..
so i left college coz of articleship. joined a firm went their till my pcc with coachings going side by side. but but as my attempt approached in may 10 , i think in mid january when i got leaves for exam i was so tensed and was sure in my mind that iam flunking in may. i was not at all prepared and was confused wat to study bcom 2nd yr ke liye ya pcc ke liye.  then kya kisi ke liye bhi properly padai nahi hui. nov10 i was fully perpared in my  mind that i will clear but hen result is niot in our hand -- i didn't make it. by seeing my result i was frustrated coz when the result came all my friends passed i was left aside. by this time  i had a very bad fear of costing fm in my mind. i use to cry a lot and think why is all this happening to me and all that stuff. thn i got a shock again whn my parents told me that i won't be sitting for the coming attempt nd wud consentrate on my 3rd year. i tried to convince them but all in vain.. i had to skip my attempt i had no choice. this also lead to break in my articleship. nov11 i cleared my pcc group 2 nd in may 12 grp 1st .
                                                 a delay in my career that happened just coz i was not serious in the beginning or i wuld say i didn't worked hard. 

in may13 i gave my 1st group of final and i have not cleared it-- my score ac's 40 , sfm 39, audit 26 and law58.

now my parents are telling me to gve one group at a time only and are teeling me not to register for 2nd group classes.  guys iam really feeling helpless. i don't know what is happening with me. am i soo dumb?? i don;t know. all my friends are into jobs or on the verge of completing their MBA's and i have did nothing..
nor do i remember anything of what i did in aricleship neither i have a good track record of my ca pcc plus now final ka 1st group ka result..

                                i very well know i have to work very very hard to clear my exams plus learn the practicle work as well. i am getting mad at home now. agar kuch aacha hoga mujh main to i don't think wo hai abb muj main..
                                  i know i have potential but i don't know why am i not able to get 100% of me. i get depressed very often with my self. i really think like iam good for nothing. i know somewhere in my heart that i can do it its not that tought - when many friends of mine who were behind me can do it why can't i. 
          iam really frustrated.