Old But Gold...Husband -wife Jokes

CA Harish Suwalka (Chartered Accountant ( Bhilwara ))   (4125 Points)

03 January 2010  

Hi dudes!

Lets start with a little smile on your face
to become pleasant feelings and healthy positive emotions.

To make u all smile and Enjoy.. 

Husband and Wife Jokes!!!!!

 harish Suwalka...

1) Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada

achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki

aadat bohot achi Lagti H


Harish Suwalka

2) Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot

pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang: Beta, hal hota to 
mein malang kiu banta..?


Harish Suwalka

3) Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to
kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi.


Harish Suwalka

4) Wife: Main bazar ja rahi hoon, 
mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!
Husband (ghusay se): Tumhen Rupay se ziada
aqal ki zaroorat hai!
Wife: Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai,
jo aap k pass mojood hai!


Harish Suwalka

5) wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to aik
Faqeer ne kaha: Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai
to zaroor andha ho ga.


Harish Suwalka

6) An old man married a young Girl, 
Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein
Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?
Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.


Harish Suwalka

7) They say that when a man holds a woman's hand
before marriage, it is love;
After marriage: It is self-defense


Harish Suwalka

8)Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag
to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
"What other problem can there be greater than this one?


Harish Suwalka

9)How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then...
Yr 7. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 8. Tum aate ho k main aaon?


Harish Suwalka

10) Teacher: Wo Kon si Cheez Hai Jo Insaan
Ki Izzat Ko Mazbooti Se Jakhre Rakhti Hai?
Student: MISS, SHALWAR KA NARRA


Harish Suwalka

11) Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent
Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to Do


Harish Suwalka

12) Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:
Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.

wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur
Boli Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti
Harish Suwalka

13)Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream 
That u were sending me
Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw w
your dad paying the bill !!!

Harish Suwalka

14) What is the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date
and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi
utna sir chad ke bolegi.

Harish Suwalka

15)Husband:u will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.


Harish Suwalka

16) Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye
tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha, Koun Thi Wo?

Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.


Harish Suwalka

 

Hi dudes!

Lets start with a little smile on your face 
to become pleasant feelings and healthy positive emotions.

To make u all smile and Enjoy..

Husband and Wife Jokes!!!!!


 harish Suwalka...

1) Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada

achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki

aadat bohot achi Lagti H 


Harish Suwalka

2) Husband: Malang baba, meri biwi bohot
pareshan karti hai, Koi hal batao.
Malang: Beta, hal hota to 
mein malang kiu banta..?


Harish Suwalka

3) Ek sahab dosray sahab se: Bhai ye khushiyan kiya hoti hen?
Dosray sahab: Pata nahi bhai, meri to
kum umar me hi shadi ho gaii thi.


Harish Suwalka

4) Wife: Main bazar ja rahi hoon, mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!
Husband (ghusay se): Tumhen Rupay se ziada
aqal ki zaroorat hai!
Wife: Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai,
jo aap k pass mojood hai! 


Harish Suwalka

5) wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to aik
Faqeer ne kaha: Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai
to zaroor andha ho ga.

Harish Suwalka

6) An old man married a young Girl,
Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein
Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?
Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.


Harish Suwalka

7) They say that when a man holds a woman's hand
before marriage, it is love;
After marriage: It is self-defense


Harish Suwalka

8)Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag
to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
"What other problem can there be greater than this one?


Harish Suwalka

9)How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
And then...
Yr 7. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 8. Tum aate ho k main aaon?


Harish Suwalka

10) Teacher: Wo Kon si Cheez Hai Jo Insaan
Ki Izzat Ko Mazbooti Se Jakhre Rakhti Hai?
Student: MISS, SHALWAR KA NARRA


Harish Suwalka

11) Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent
Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to Do


Harish Suwalka

12) Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:
Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.

wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur
Boli Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti
Harish Suwalka

13)Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw w
your dad paying the bill !!!

Harish Suwalka

14) What is the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date
and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi
utna sir chad ke bolegi.

Harish Suwalka

15)Husband:u will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it  s only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.


Harish Suwalka

16) Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye
tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha, Koun Thi Wo?

Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.


Harish Suwalka