Marrying a chartered accountant :

Marrying a Chartered Accountant :D
When I told my mom that I wanted a
professional woman as my wife, she
got me one; a Chartered Accountant.
She uses LIFO method while taking out
the refrigerated food.
She thinks I am no good at figure work.
Fine with me, for now she handles the
budget of the house.
Initially she used to send me a bill at
the month end, but when I told her
that I am not her client but her
husband, she asks for the money in
advance.
The expenses had been rising steadily
over the months, so one day I
snooped into the papers maintained in
a current file.
No wonder! She was charging
conveyance and overtime to the house
budget. She is crazy, I tell her but she
corrects me.
"No my darling, I am the auditor."
I fail to see the light. Every scrap of the
paper in our house is filed.
She tells me as per some Ordinance
she must keep a copy of every thing
for at least ten years before destroying
it.
I am worried. The other day we had an
hour-long fight. Later, I got to know
that she had charged that hour to a
client of hers, in the time sheet. My
time was put down as unoccupied.
She says that she loves me and I tell
her that I love her too. However, she
never believes me.
She says that there is susceptibility of it
being a misstatement. Duh! She wants
my representation on this&Expert
opinion of some Expert!
Not a long time back my brother's
wedding was to be solemnized.
Wedding cards had been sent. After
some time I started receiving a steady
trickle of letters.
I was puzzled until my wife explained
that external evidence was more
reliable.
She had called for confirmations from
all those to whom cards were sent.
When she cooks, my wife at times does
not go by recipe.
Where the recipe says add half-
teaspoon vinegar, one tsp black salt or
one teacup of water, she ignores them.
She says that they are not material
when taken in context of whole meal
being prepared. She is crazy, I tell you.
Surprisingly everybody calls her an
auditor, instead. I checked the
dictionary and it did not state that
auditor is a synonym for crazy.
The dictionary must be outdated.
When we got married, she had given
me an Engagement Letter and I Had
said how cute-how sweet.
Now she gives it to me every year
saying that her standards state that it
must be sent anew if there is any
indication that I have misunderstood
the objective and scope of
engagement.
Huh! Apart from sending me the
engagement letter once again she says
I can't get rid off her just like that.
She says that she has the right of being
heard before I appoint some one else.
It seems I must keep reading one local
and another English newspaper
published and circulated in the vicinity
of our house for more details.
Phew! For a minute, I thought that we
had jeopardized our going concern
status.
Duh! Dare I say so?? I am told by one
of my female colleagues who is
married to a CA that the scenario is
even worse when the guy is a CA.
Apparently he capitalised the wedding
expenses as preliminary expenses and
is writing it off every year.
Also the time he spent dating his wife
before marrying her is still under
consideration for valuation under
AS-26...valuati on of intangible assets.
So guys please think twice....should u
really marry a CA? And yes please
discount it by the appropriate rate to
arrive at the present value of the risk of
doing so !!!

Moral of the story:

NEVER EVER SHOULD A CA MARRY ANOTHER CA :p