Love actually...

Guy meets girl. They fall in love. A beautiful relationship begins. Somewhere along the way, something goes wrong. Suddenly, his temper becomes annoying. Her stubbornness irritates him. And the relationship becomes more an issue of tolerating rather than loving. Weren't these qualities present before? Is there something wrong with them? Was it his fault or hers? Was it anyone's fault at all? These are experiences we come across every now and then.

One of the biggest problems we face in relationships today, be it husband-wife, parent-child or between friends, is the phenomenon of attachment. Attachment in relationships is when you begin to depend on a person because of a perceived return. This return may be material, emotional or even intellectual. When we function on attachment, the relationship reduces to a business deal. You are happy when the person caters to you and unhappy when he or she do...esn't. You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours. We continue the interaction as long as it appears beneficial to us and when it doesn't, we conveniently drop it. Attachment in the final analysis is self-love. It is the most disguised form of selfishness because at the end of the day, all you are interested in is yourself. The relationship is based on what you get out of it, not what you are giving to the other person involved.

Love, however, is a completely different ball game. You don't love the person ‘for' anything. You just love the person. No strings attached. You do things for the other person without wanting or expecting anything in return. Quite contrary to popular belief, love is a one-way street, in the lover's mind at least. Because you're happy irrespective of whether your favour is returned or isn't. Whether your gesture is appreciated or isn't. For you, the joy comes from simply doing something for the other person.

When we approach relationships with an attitude of love rather than attachment, it becomes insulated from change and more sustainable. Love helps us put our fears to rest and frees us from the clutches of expectations.

In your relationships, think about what you can give and how best you can serve the person in the relationship.....