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Bachelors should be heavily taxed.
It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
--Oscar Wilde
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Don't marry for money;
you can borrow it cheaper.
--Scottish Proverb
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I don't worry about terrorism.
I am married for two years.
--Sam Kinison
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When a newly married couple smiles,
everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles,
everyone wonders why.
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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing:
either the car is new or the wife.
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I take my wife everywhere,
but she keeps finding her way back to home always.
--Anonymous
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I asked my wife,
"Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "
She said,"Somewhere I have never been!"
I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
--Anonymous
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We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.
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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.
--Anonymous
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She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
--Anonymous
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling,
"Am I too late for the garbage?"
Following her down the street I yelled,
"No, jump in.."
--Anonymous
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Bad Teddy recently explained to me
why he refuses to get to married.
He says "the wedding rings look like miniature
handcuffs... .."
--Anonymous
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your
wife yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course...
at least he'll shut up after u let him in!
--Anonymous
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A couple came upon a wishing well.
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin.
The wife decided to make a wish, too.
But she leaned over too much, fell
into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then
smiled "It really works ! "