LALOO'S LEELA!!!!!!
 

1) Laloo enters a shop and shouts,  
“Where’s my free gift with this oil?”
Shopkeeper: “Iske Saath koi Gift nahin hai, Lalooji”
Laloo : Ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE “

2) Saddam Hussain visits God and asks him:
” God, When shall
I see The defeat of Bush? “
God replies:” Son, you will not see it in your lifetime.”
Hearing this, Saddam Hussain starts crying and goes away. Gen Parvez
Musharaff visits God and asks him:
” God, when shall I see the Capture of Kashmir by Pakistan . “
God replies:” Son, you will not see it in lifetime”.
Hearing this, Gen Parvez Musharaff starts crying and goes away.
Laloo Yadav visits God and asks him:
” God when shall I see Bihar Becoming a prosperous and happy state ?
” Hearing this, God starts crying. Laaloo is astounded and asks:”
God, why are you crying?
” God replies:” Son, I will not see it in my lifetime.”

3) Once Laloo was coming out of the Airport. As there was a Huge
rush, the security guard told Laloo “WAIT PLEASE”, for which Laloo
replied “85 Kgs” and moved on…

4) Laloo’s family planning policy : DON’T HAVE MORE THAN TWO
CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR

5) At a bar in New York , the man to Laloo’s left tells the
bartender, “JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE.” And the man’s companion
says, “JACK DANIELS, SINGLE.” The bartender approaches Laloo and
asks, “AND U sir?” Laloo replies: “LALOO YADAV, MARRIED.”

6) After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go
modelling. He steps into a herd of buffaloes and rests his
elbows on a buffalo and poses for the photo.

Next day
the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper.
Guess the caption !!
‘Laloo, third from left!’

7) A reporter asked Laloo
“What is the main reason for divorce?”
Laloo replies “Marriage”.

8) After completing a jigsaw puzzle he’d been working on for Quite
sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to A
friend. “It Took me only 5 months to do it,” Laloo brags. “Five
months? That’s too long.” the friend exclaims. “You are a fool,”
Laloo replies.
“Read the box, it says “5-7 years”.

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars.
Only one person could go, and he will not return to Earth.
The first applicant, an American engineer, was asked  how much he wanted to be paid for going.

"A million dollars", he answered, "because I wish to donate it to M.I.T."

The next applicant, a Russian doctor, was asked the same question.

He asked for two million dollars. "I wish to give a million to my family,he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

The last applicant was a Indian politician (Lallu Yadav). When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer' s ear, "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.

The Indian Politician replied, $1 million is for you, I'll keep $1 million,
and we'll give the American engineer $1million and send him to Mars”