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Jokes

Vijeth Kumar C (CA Final) (1615 Points)

19 November 2010

Subject: Ultimate goal of Boy!

*Teacher: Tum bade hokar kya karoge ?

   Student: Shaadi..!!!!!!

Teacher: Nahi, mera matlab hai, kya banoge?.....

   Student: Dulha.!!!!!!!!!!!

Teacher: Oh, I mean, bade hokar kya hasil karoge?

   Student: Dulhan

Teacher: Idiot, Mera matlab, bade ho kar mummy papa ke liye kya karoge?

   Student: Bahu launga

Teacher: Stupid, Tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hain?

   Student: Pota

Teacher: He, Bhagwan, Tumhari zindagi ka kya maksad hai?

   Student: Hum do Humare do, jab tak Teesra na ho!

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12 Replies

Vijeth Kumar C (CA Final) (1615 Points)
Replied 19 November 2010

DERIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM

NOTE:

Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter. He will give you the licen.

If you dot know how to fill, copy from your phriend (dost) applikason.

For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.

For philling the phorom Check Karet box

1. Last name:

(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dont no

?2. phust name:

(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dont no

3. Age:

(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dont no

4. Sex: ____ M ____ _(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable

5. Chappal Slize: ____ Lepht ____ Right

6.Occupason:

(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_)Un-employed

7. Number of children libing in the household: ___

8. Number that are yourj: ___

9. Mather name: _______________________

10. Phather Name: _________________(If not no, leabe blank)

11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest kilass attended)

12. Dental rekard:

(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_)Other

_ Give egjhakt color

13.Your thumb imparesson : ____________________________

(If you are copying from another applikason pharom,

pleaje do not copy thumb impression also.

Pleaje provide your own thumb impression.)

PELEAJE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand,

use your thumb on right hand.

If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DERIVE.

WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS.

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Vijeth Kumar C (CA Final) (1615 Points)
Replied 19 November 2010

CID Facts

1. Daya has the world record of breaking most number of doors.

2. C.I.D bureau has 1 toyota qualis since last 11 years,

3. In entire 20 storeyed building of C.I.D only 7 people works.

4. There is no POLICE,,C.I.D handles every case.

5. Accused person accepts his crime only after getting slap from Daya on face.

6. None of them ever got married,

7. None of them ever got promotion, not even ACP.

8. Salunke just presses CONTROL & ALT, & gets Finger prints tested.

9. people remember a person they just saw once & give excat sketch.

10.End of episode,, all criminals get Fassi !

2 Like

Vijeth Kumar C (CA Final) (1615 Points)
Replied 19 November 2010

Average Penguin Height

A man walks into a bar.

He says to the barman, "How tall is a penguin?"

The barman says about three feet.

The man says, "Don't you get any penguins taller than that!"

The barman says, "Maybe maximum four feet but no taller than that."

The man says, "Oh sh*t, in that case I just drove over a nun."

Resham (Carpe Diem !!!) (6535 Points)
Replied 19 November 2010

Really great...

especially the CID part..

ha ha ha

Vijeth Kumar C (CA Final) (1615 Points)
Replied 19 November 2010

Hillary in Heaven

Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked, "What are all those clocks?"

Saint Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.

"Oh," said Hillary, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Gandhi's. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie."

"Whose clock is that?"

"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life."

"Where's Bill's clock?" Hillary asked.
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"Bill's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

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Anil Sharma (Accounts Officer) (62 Points)
Replied 20 November 2010

Very interesting and Intertaining, specialy CID and Lie-Clocks

naveen (student) (21 Points)
Replied 20 November 2010

yes really entertaining, specially cid.

Nikhil Kothari (CEO at Sequinox Business Advisories) (4671 Points)
Replied 20 November 2010

CID Jokes was awesome..

Vijeth Kumar C (CA Final) (1615 Points)
Replied 20 November 2010

President Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'.

So our illustrious democratic President asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.



One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him that would be a tragedy?'

'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident.' A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.' 'I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call a great loss.'



The room went silent... No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs... Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.'



'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?'

'Well,' says Little Johnny, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss... and it probably wouldn't be a damn accident either.'

Lakshmi (Student) (1836 Points)
Replied 20 November 2010

Originally posted by : Nikhil Kothari
	CID Jokes was awesome..

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palak (cs) (385 Points)
Replied 20 November 2010

AWESOME.....

Vijeth Kumar C (CA Final) (1615 Points)
Replied 21 November 2010

Lagaan: Lagaan was shot in the late 19th century. At the time, an over in cricket used to consist of 8 balls. But in this movie, an over has 6 balls. Maybe modern cricket learnt from the movie.

Amar Akbar Anthony: Three men donate blood at the same time to the same person.

Khalnayak: The police tracks the villain from an MS Word Document screen! something that office team will be interested in)

Pyar To Hona Hi Tha: Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her. Poor girl,little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside.

Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi: Akshay Kumar boards a Jet Airways flight to America. Well, well, some promotion for our Indian Jet Airways. Since when did they start flying international?

Raja Hindustani: Navneet Nishan has short hair before marriage. After tying the knot, she acquires waist-length hair overnight. What a hair-raising experience!

Raja: Dilip Tahil empties a can of petrol over Madhuri Dixit. Minutes later, Sanjay Kapoor takes the same can and pours it over Dilip Tahil. That's what I call an autofill!

Guddu: Manisha Koirala and Shah Rukh Khan are seen hanging on a parachute during a song. But when the song ends, they land on a glider. What a switch above sea level!

Tere Mere Sapne: Priya Gill is doing her BA. But at the bus stop, she is carrying an electrical technology thesis by B L Theraja. What an electrifying interest!