Joke 1
One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing. He calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won't be able to go to work.
Way up in heaven, Saint Peter sees all this and asks God, ''Are you really going to let him get away with this?''
''No, I guess not,'' says God.
The priest drives about five to six hours away, so he doesn't bump into anyone he knows. The golf course is empty when he gets there. So he takes his first swing, drives the ball 495 yards away and gets a hole in one.
Saint Peter watches in disbelief and asks, '' Why did you let him do that?''
To this God says, ''Who's he going to tell?''
Joke 2
A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money."
The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States congressman!"
The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"
Joke 3
Joe takes his friend Steve hunting for the first time and reminds him to be still and keep quiet.
An hour into the woods, Joe hears Steve screaming behind him. "I thought I told you to be quiet!" says Joe.
"Hey, I kept quiet when the snake bit me," says Steve, "and I was quiet when the fox attacked me. But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant leg just now, I heard one ask the other, 'Should we eat them now or take them with us?'"
Joke 4
While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and Mr. Benson looked out the window.
"Good Lord!" he screamed. "One of the engines just blew up!"
Other passengers left their seats and came running over. Suddenly, the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on the other side. The passengers were in a panic now, and even the stewardesses couldn't maintain order!
Just then, standing tall and smiling confidently, the pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone that there was nothing to worry about. Most of the passengers seemed to feel better on hearing this, and they sat down as the pilot walked to the front of the aircraft. There, he grabbed several packages from under the seats and began handing them to the flight attendants. Each crewmember attached the package to their backs.
"Say," spoke up an alert passenger, "aren't those parachutes?"
The pilot said, "Yes, they are."
The passenger went on, "But I thought you said there was nothing to worry about?"
"There isn't," replied the pilot as a third engine exploded.
"We're just going to get help."
Friends, there are lot's more jokes which you can see at this link ......
https://www.jokes.com
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