Joke

Vijeth Kumar C (CA Final) (1615 Points)

25 November 2010  

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. 

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."


 

TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA 

1) Qus. : What are you doing?   
Ans. : Business.   
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!   

2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?   
Ans. : Selling the Goods.   
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!   

3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?   
Ans. : From other State/Abroad   
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!   

4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?   
Ans. : Profit.   
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!   

5) Qus. : How do you distribute profit ?   
Ans : By way of dividend   
Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax   

6) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?   
Ans. : Factory.   
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!   

7) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?   
Ans. : Yes   
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!   

Cool Qus. : Do you have Staff?   
Ans. : Yes   
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!   

9) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?   
Ans. : Yes   
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!   
Ans : No   
Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax   

10) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?   
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.   
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!   

11) Qus.: Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?   
Ans. : Hotel   
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!   

12) Qus.: Are you going Out of Station for Business?   
Ans. : Yes   
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!   

13) Qus.: Have you taken or given any Service/s?   
Ans. : Yes   
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!   

14) Qus.: How come you got such a Big Amount?   
Ans. : Gift on birthday.   
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!   

15) Qus.: Do you have any Wealth?   
Ans. : Yes   
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!   

16) Qus.: To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?   
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.   
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!   

17) Qus.: Have you purchased House?   
Ans. : Yes   
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !   

18) Qus.: How you Travel?   
Ans. : Bus   
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!   

19) Qus.: Any Additional Tax?   
Ans. : Yes   
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!! 

20) Qus.: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?   
Ans. : Yes   
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!   

21) INDIAN :: Can I Die Now??   
Ans :: Wait we are about to launch the funeral tax!!!