How to say “NO” without confrontation or without being rude

Rupesh Maheshwari (ACA, Dip. IFR (ACCA)) (6166 Points)

18 August 2010  

How to say “NO” without confrontation or without being rude

 

No a word which if not said at the right time, in a right way can cause damage which is more than all the yes'es put together.

It is the toughest word to say and more important hard to hear and understand for the audience

It can break or mar relationships and easily result in mutually destructive conflict.

Here are some of the tips on How to say NO

Give an explanation why you want to say No

You should have the patience, time and communication skills to explain the logic of saying no. The chances are that people will understand, it is better than saying "No, just because I said so". Do not make it a power play game

Take time to say NO

Listen to people, hear them out and then explain and say No. It is easier for them to accept if their point of view is heard. It is a good people management technique.


Benign Neglect

Sometimes you cannot say NO directly especially if it is a sensitive case. For example a request for a favour from some influential or senior people or from a critical client where a direct “No” can be perceived as an insult or can have wider implications. The best strategy is to neglect and not do anything. With time people will assume that it is a no. It is a very wise strategy and widely used by politicians and diplomats.

Pleading ignorance

Sometimes instead of saying directly that I cannot help you can turn around saying I do not know how to do it. Or I am not aware of it. By admitting your ignorance the other person will not feel hurt

Requesting for more information

Sometimes to ward off people who are very persistent you can say that I need to know more .. or I need more information/details. This way you have put the ball back into their court. A useful tactic to buy time and tire the other person out.

Appeal to higher authority

A very useful technique used in negotiations, if caught in a bind you can mention that I need to check with my boss or my finance or legal person.
This way you can not only buy time but also shift the blame to someone else
.