Fun with CS, enjoy the company secretary exam & life toils

Funny (yet very interesting) on Company Secretaries, credits to the author.  Just felt like sharing with CS friends throughout India.  Life is all about the approach or view points, enjoy... & win the world!

Banner in front of the Institute of Company Secretaries of India ....



"Drive slowly, don't kill our students.... . leave them to us...."



What is CS?



Foundation-Alpenlibe- Ji lalchaye raha na jaye.

 

Intermdiate- Dimag ki batti jala de.

Trainee-Kinetic- Sabki hawa nikal de.



FINAL-Chlormint- Dubara mat poochna.

Membersip-jhoom barabar jhoom





We had many options to end our life

Poison, Sleeping pills, Hanging,

Jump from building, Sleep under a train..

But we choose the bravest... Education (CS).





Aansu aa jate hai aankho me rone se pehle,

Har khawab tut jata hai sone se pehle!

Kya hai CS ye to samajh gaye,

Kash koi rok leta admission hone se pehle.



Are you-

Emotionally Numb?

Romantically Starved?

Creatively Challenged?

Artistically Void?

Socially Outcast?

Congratulations You are a CS Student!!



Teacher: Osama has 5 wives and 20 Children,



Laloo has 1 wife and 9 children. Who is better?



CS Student: all are redundant...merge all u/s 391-394 of the Co. Act, 1956.



SECRETARY

S-Special

E-Extra-ordinary

C-Calm

R-Royal

E-Enthusiastic

T-Talented

A-Awesome

R-Romantic

Y-Young



Irritating compliances, Fighting on complicated issues,

Everyday classes, Dangerous boss,

More expenditure, avg. stipend,

People call it Training, We call it LIFE.





CS on his death bed:

My wife, are you here?

"Yes dear"

My daughter, are you here?

"Yes dad"

My son, are you here?

"Yes dad"

MY TRAINEES, ARE YOU HERE?

"Yes SIR"

KAMiNO fir OFFICE me kaun hai...................aur mera corporate law ka gutkha??????????



Upcoming horror movies in CS:

-The Worthing Trainee

-Khatarnak syllabus

-B.L. ka badla

-2nd group ki pyas

-Khooni result 

-Wo aakhri attempt

-corporate governance(the mystery)



Kash koi "Exam Result" ka insurance kara deta,

To har exam ke pehle premium bharwa dete,

Pass hote to thik hai,

Varna insurance claim karva lete.



Ye India ka CS hai bidu,

40 mile to tali bidu,

Attempt lage to gali bidu,

Hua exempt to bole jhakhas,

39 lage to satyanash,

Pass ho to thaat hai,

Fail ho to vaat hai.



5 Years

50 Laws

500 Lectures

5000 Practicals

50000 Sections

500000 Rules

A normal human being can't bear it.

The remaining abnormals are called 

COMPANY .SECRETARIES .... 

CS gaali de to kya dega?

Saale 383A ka non compliance,

SEBI ki penalty,

paidaishi subsidiary,

Undischarged Insolvent,

297 ke violation, 295 ke loan, 372A ki guarantee,

Itna marunga ki WINDING UP ho jayega.