Funny Definitions Of Today

Ashima Aggarwal (CA Final Student Articled Assistant)   (809 Points)

06 April 2011  
FUNNY DEFINITIONS for today's world

 
School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
 
Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
 
Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
 
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power.
 
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through ‘the minds of either’
 
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
 
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
 
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
 
Father: A banker provided by nature.
 
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
 
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
 
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
 
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
 
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
 
Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
 
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
 
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.