A student comes to a young professor's office hours.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels
pleadingly.
'I would do anything to pass this exam.'
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes
meaningfully into his eyes.
'I mean...' she whispers, '...I would do...
**anything**!!!'
He returns her gaze. 'Anything???'
'Yes,... Anything!!!'
His voice turns to a whisper. 'Would you...... study???'
A student was asked to draw a diagram of bacteria in a science exam but he just left it writing the heading.
teacher:why didnt you draw the bacteria diagram
student:i drew but you only said that bacteria are not visible thats why
An Economics professor at school had a strict policy that the hourly examinations were to be completed at the bell and anyone who kept writing on their exam after the bell would take a zero on the exam. Well, one guy kept writing on his exam for a while after the bell and then confidently strode up to turn it in.
The professor looked at him and said, 'Don't bother to hand that paper in... you get a zero for continuing after the bell.'
The guy looked at him and said, 'Professor, do you know who I am!!'
The professor replied, 'No, and I don't care if your dad is president...you get a zero on this exam'
The guy, with a enraged look on his face, shouted, 'You mean you have no idea who I am???'
The professor responded, 'No, I've no idea who you think you are.'
With that, the guy said 'Good!', plunged his exam into the middle of the stack of other students exams, and did a hasty retreat from the examination room!
Priya: How come you did so badly in history? I thought you had all the dates written on your sleeve?
Vidya: That's the trouble, I put on my geography blouse by mistake.
The teacher asked his students to write an essay on a cricket match.
Exam finished in an hour.
When the teacher was checking the papers he found some ink marks on one of the answer which read 'DUE TO RAIN THE MATCH WAS CANCELLED' .
The teacher drew zero`s all over the papers & wrote ' THERE WAS ALSO SNOWFALL'.
Tarun: How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?
Dinesh: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated.
A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.
On the paper there was a single line which simply said: 'Is this a question?' - Discuss.
After a short time he wrote: 'If that is a question, then this is an answer.'
The student received an 'A' on the exam.
Mannu is appearing for his university final examination, which consisted of 'yes' or 'no' questions.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - 'Yes' for Heads and 'No' for Tails.
Within half an hour he is all done while the rest of the class is still sweating it out.
During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating.
The moderator approaches him and asks what is going on.
'Sir, I finished the exam in half an hour. But I'm rechecking my answers.' His reply.
A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill out his schedule.
The only one available was Wildlife Zoology. After one week the professor gave the class a test. He passed out a sheet of paper divided into squares. In each square was a carefully drawn picture of some bird legs. No bodies, no feet, just legs. The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs.
The student sat and stared at the test and got more and more angry.
Finally he stumped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on the teacher's desk. 'This is the worst test I have ever taken.'
The teacher looked up and said, 'Young man, you have flunked this test. What is your name?'
The student pulled up his pant-legs and showed the professor his legs and replied, 'You tell me!'
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