Cool meanings....

Cigarette:  
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other. 
 
Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
 
Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
 
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
 
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower...
 
Dictionary:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.
 
Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
 
Ecstasy:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
 
Classic:
A book which people praise, but does not read.
 
Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
 
Office:
 A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
 
Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
 
Etc:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
 
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
 
Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
 
Atom Bomb:
 An invention to end all inventions.
 
Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
 
Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
 
Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
 
Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet..
 
Pessimist:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
 
Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
 
Father:
 A banker provided by nature.
 
Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
 
Boss:
 Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
 
Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after …?
 
Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills