Best Interview ever

Best Interview ever.... read it till the end*

Interviewer : Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering
from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology. *

*Interviewer : BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never
heard of this college before!
Candidate : Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission
into it. What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly!
in 12th. I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I
prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money". (The baap
actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to
join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at
the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya. *

*Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your
engineering.
Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know,
these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is
difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took
4 + 2 = 7 years. *

*Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to
keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really
affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it. *

*Interviewer : Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate : No, no... I am talking about Exams!! *

*Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate : Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I
would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for
a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.
*

*Interviewer : Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself
was so much of pain!! *

*Interviewer : Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you
worked?
Candidate : Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current
platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As
you can see I have experience of different platforms! (Vashi and Andheri are
the places in Mumbai) *

*Interviewer : And which languages have you used?
Candidate : Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German,
French, Russian and many other languages. *

*Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate : It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher
version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language
VD! *

*Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language
our ministers and MPs use in assembly. *

*Interviewer : What is your general project experience?
Candidate : My general experience about projects is - most of th! e times
they are in pipeline! *

*Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining
BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was
another software like Windows. *

*Interviewer : Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel.
I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use
speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'SEI-CMM',
'quality', 'version control', 'deadlines', 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also
I can blame others for my mistakes! *

*Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate : Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have
deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and
jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to
avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2
months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But
considering the fact that there is Olympics coming up in China in the
current year, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am
modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection? *

*Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our
organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to
INFOSYS.

*
*The fellow was appointed in a newly created section 'Stress Management' in
the HRD of Infosys.