It was a long journey of almost 2000 kms from Kathmandu to pune and when you don’t have company,all sorts of crazy things come to your mind,and I’m no exception.so I made a bucket list(crazy things to do before I hang up my shoes) of my own in this journey, but cant share it here on public platform, or else I would be spending rest of my life getting sued and may be go mad with all those “court-kachari” stuff……”taareek pe tareek…..tareek pe tareek….par insaaf nahi mila me-lord”……..
anyways coming back to the point……I don’t know if you notice ,I have that nasty habit of getting off track from the topic…may be it’s a gift of being a CA student…..”get off track….get on track…start good …mid section non sense...and end well… “
well never mind…..so one of the things in my bucket list was to write letters to personalities whom I “adore”….(I hope those inverted commas gave you the impression of being sarcastic…….just a small note incase you didn’t notice)……so here I am ,sharing with you all ,my first letter……and to whom……..
 

non other than Abhishek Bachchan…..AB Jr……but before I reveal it to you guys I must put up a “read the offer document carefully before investing “ kinda notice…a warning sort if I may call it so…….
“Please don’t proceed ahead if you have a weak heart for AB Jr or have high hopes of reading praises of Abhishek…..and you should immediately close the window if you are awaiting results or preparing for exams…The content is extremely hazardous and toxic….may give you sleepless nights and if it can get worse…you may shout in your dreams too…The writer  doesnot take the responsibility for the mental trauma you could possibly experience ,however he can suggest you good mental hospitals for he has been to almost all the mental hospitals and with his refrence,you can get a good bargain from doctors as well…..”
So with that warning …(if anyone’s still willing to take the risk)….i shall now present you with a “beautifully” crafted letter to my hero……AB Jr…

Dear Abhishek Bachchan,
              Before I begin, let me introduce myself…I am Anthony Gonzalves aka Bunty from wasseypur.This must be sounding weird and familiar.But I was so inspired by Bachchan saab that I filed an affidavit for a name change,wanted to take Vijay dinanath chauhan but then karan johar had already bought the rights and didn’t want to disappoint him so I settled with this name.However my pet name is tommy,you can call me toms if you want,your choice.And about my town,I am originally from new York but after the global melt down of 2008,shifted here in wasseypur ,Uttar Pradesh.You would be proud to know that I have started my own business(wouldn’t get into the details because of the legal issues,hope you wont mind).
So after that brief introduction about myself, let me get down to the purpose of this letter. I write this letter to express my love for you. I have admired you from your first movie itself. I still remember the day when I went to watch “refugee”. There was a complete mad rush in the cinema hall…….to get out of it. Children were crying as if they were put through a torture chamber……..many people fainted before interval itself…….some were even given counseling as they were so shocked. Many refugees from bhutan,Nepal and Afghanistan had come to witness this epic movie expecting it to be a story of their lives.Government of India had arranged a special show for them .All wanted to return back to their home country after watching the movie.Many said they would rather die peacefully in their home country than being assaulted like this by Government of India.However I knew that day itself that a star was born.Though many must have predicted that on 5^th February 1976 it self,the date of your birth as the saying goes “chor ka beta chor”…”doctor ka beta doctor” and “super star ka beta atleast star if not super star”…How proud bachchan saab must have felt when you were born. I heard you held the limca records for quite some time for being the “tallest baby born”.
After that there was no stopping.I watched every movie of yours atleast 3 times.My personal favorites are:Dhaai akshar prem ke,Bass itna sa khwaab hai,Shararat,Om jai jagadish,Mumbai se aaya mera dost,Run,Nach,Drona,game,players….
 “tera jaadu chal gaya”,holds a special place in my heart.I was transferred to Agra after watching this movie and that is where I met my billo.Today we are happily married……she with bhoj pratap and I with rakhi sawant,whom I met on “rakhi ka swayambar”.My wife is also a huge fan of yours.She wants to do an item song in your movie some day.
Many say that you try to imitate Bachchan saab…and I feel there’s no harm in that…after all he is your father and many stars have followed his foot-steps.But I feel very sad when people say that you copy Chunkey Pandey and Rahul Roy.

Before I forget,I must tell you that I use all the products endorsed by you.Infact I ported my number to idea.Though the market share is less here in earth,I am sure the company has monopoly up there in heaven.It’d be great if you could share with us all the call charges from heaven to earth,will it be on roaming??

Anyways,before I forget ,I must congratulate you and bhabhiji for your lovely daughter.I am sure she is as cute as you.My heart fills with pride when I think of the day when she’d go to school and the teacher would ask about her family background:
sir:who’s your grandpa?........BIG B
     who’s your mother?........Miss world
     Who’s your father?.......No idea sirji…
This no idea sirji would become your identity someday.Kids use this phrase in school very often.

I consider you as my elder brother.However I was very disappointed when I didn’t get the card of your wedding. But when someone told me that even SRK,Hrithik ,Sallu and half the film industry didn’t receive the card,I immediately knew it was the postal department which was the culprit.They are always late in delivering letters and cards.I myself received my release letter from tihar jail after I spent my full term  in the  jail.I have written a letter to them for creating a drift between brothers,have attached a copy of it to this letter for your reference.

Now I must stop.I understand that you are a busy man.With so many scriptttts to read for bacchan saab and bhabhi and to add to that taking care of li’l B is a huge task.Oh,I forgot to mention in the beginning……I hope this letter finds you in the best of your health.Please take good care of uday chopra and ofcourse jaya aunty,bachchan saab ,bhabhi,baby B,and shweta didi.

Hope to hear form you soon.

Aapki pyaari behen,
Lolitaaa
(oh…!!did I mention about my split personality disorder???.......)