The goal is clear. We are working hard toward it. And then a setback happens. An unexpected obstacle in the path. A habit we thought we could overcome and we cheat. A stressor that causes us to regress to “our old selves”. And then we give up. When you set goals, do you plan upfront how you will deal with failure? Here’s how.
When we fail we get down on ourselves. We assume the goal is just too hard. We assume that we will never change. So might as well give up! And we move on to other things. The goal is forgotten. The energy put against achieving it in the first place is wasted. We beat ourselves up. The mind says “You @ !?!!, can’t even get this right”. And we resign ourselves, tired, our spirit weakened, and our confidence in meeting future goals threatened.
But what if we had a plan to deal with failure? What if we knew that growth happens in spurts? What if the nature of change is not steady? Observing nature gives us some clues. The child comes out of the womb in spurts. The water of the tsunami has to recede deep into the ocean first to then gather its full force to come to shore. Sometimes it’s just 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Just know, you’re still 1 step ahead.
So the next time you set a goal, plan for what you will do when you have a setback. Will you beat yourself up and abandon the goal? “Well, I had 2 chocolate chip cookies, might as well have the bucket of ice cream too!” Or will you execute the setback plan you set up? What does the setback plan look like?
Here are 3 tips for creating your setback plan:
1) Ask yourself “What will motivate me to get back on track?” and then pursue that. Each person is unique. Understand what motivates you and use it shamelessly!
2) Review the positive progress you did make and feel good about it. You set a goal. That’s positive progress. You pursued it for 13 hours. That’s positive progress. If you’re really desperate to feel good about something, remind yourself you’re breathing. That’s positive progress. It definitely beats the alternative!
3) Refocus on how you will feel when you’ve achieved the goal. Write that down. Yes, go ahead and imagine it in great detail. Engage your senses. The smell of the leather chair in the corner office. The sound of your very own capuccino machine. The clapping of the Board of Directors as they hear your outstanding presentation. Savor it. And now you’re on your way to refocusing on your goal.
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