Do you feel any unknown fear that prevents you to ask question in the class room? Have you ever felt that what will people think of you if you do any work? Don’t you like to participate in stage performance, functions in school/colleges, social functions etc.? Generally we face feeling like hesitation before performing the things, even we don’t take participate in any things, just because what will people think about me, if I do this. Have you ever given think about it, why we generally feel hesitation before doing the things, while we know we can do the things better in alone, but not in the public. Why do we feel shame if we do something which is correct in our eye but only for just “what will people say about us?” we do it in unconfident manner and end result we lose the opportunity.
It doesn’t happen with all children, actually childhood is the stage when children start caring for these types of things and gradually it accumulates on their mind and resulting fear, hesitation etc etc. This is kind of disease and if you also realise that you are suffering same type of problem then you have suffered from this disease. In this type of situation, question arise in our mind that how can we overcome from this. Here we will try to find some key to solve such problems.
What are the reasons?
Uncertainty, Ambiguity, Vagueness, Lack of Confidence, Lack of Concentration etc etc.
Here we don’t discuss in above reasons that why does it happen? because I think lack of confidence, lack of concentration, lack of self-belief etc. these are not a problem; Yes I am right, problem is why we don’t able to drop above weaknesses after lot of efforts?
Reason is we generally want to catch the fruits but we forget the roots. I mean to say concentration, focus, self-confidence and self belief these all things are fruits, but we need to find the root where these things comes from? And once you will find them, these things will come automatically.
Main problem is, you don’t have “fire” in your life; you don’t have a will power to crack the things, in other language “Kida mangta hai boss” Pagalpan jaruri hai, kisi chiz ko pane ke liye. You have to get mad about that. Thereafter you will realise that the fear, hesitation, shyness are all just nominal things, these are just hurdle in the way of your success. You need to see only your aim and nothing else like Arjuna. When Arjuna was asked by Guru Dronacharya, while shooting the eye of fish, what you see besides your aim? He replied I can see only the eye of fish and nothing. What do you think? Is this concentration or confidence? No my friend this is just will power that he has to shoot the eye and he has to win the game. Concentration and Confidence are just supportive qualities and it will automatically favour you, if you have a will power to do the things.
What should we do?
Always do the right and fare things, don’t say lie, ok ok say lie, but not much, but even do the things like, so that you could feel proud for that, it will raise your confidence, actually confidence is the quality that cover up our faults. Doing wrong things but confidently is equal to doing right things unconfidently. Yes I am right. Actually I realised that on one seminar, person who was not well in English presented their speech in confident manner won the 1st prize against the person who was very well in English, but couldn’t present their speech confidently. Actually I want to say utilize the things that you already have. No one will help you to raise your confidence; you have to make effort by yourself.
Concentrate on your work only, even if you are with groups, just feel you are alone, concentration will centralise your mind to think in one direction and you will get new ideas instead of thinking what people think of me?
Believe in yourself that you are doing the right things, even if you are doing wrong. Please don’t take it negatively; here I am not saying to do any criminal activity. Actually this is reality sometime we face some uncontrollable negative situation in our life, even after lot of effort, we unable to find the solution. What should you do in this situation? Believe in yourself that you are right, just due to circumstance you had taken the wrong step, convince yourself “I am right” and learn from the situation how to tackle the circumstances if you face it again next time. And try to find every positive and negative facts of your action that why have you chosen that? It will raise your confidence, so that you could convince others, if you are criticised by others. Just think, I can definitely find the solution, this are just lesson of life that teach me how to face the situation?
Believe in God, this will help you to avoid overconfidence, dedicate your all work to your God. Just say thanks to God for your every success. You are nothing without them.
Besides above things there are lot of ways to avoid hesitation like address your fears, train yourself to think then act, make the decision, force yourself to do new things, give yourself a time limit etc etc.
But above all things are just theoretical concepts. We will read then we will throw it away from our mind. This is human behaviour.
Let’s take it in some different manner.
Ok now let me know, why do you care for them (people) that what will they think about you? Why? Do they submit your school/college fees or have you committed to them, that you will always do right things, you cannot do mistakes, otherwise they will hang you. No na, then why you feel hesitation in front of them. My friend you are committed to your parents, you have to fulfill expectation of your family, and you have only one life, limited time with condition no retakes, then why are you wasting your time in such type of stupid things like hesitation. These things are nothing in front of your family expectations, live like a hero. You are a real hero. Excuse me, I am not saying that now you have to save the life of poor people; or now you have to fight with villain; or you have to react like Hrithik Roshan. No my friend, I just want to say, do something like, that you feel proud on yourself, do for yourself, do for your family.
Time to change now, my friend divert your mind, try to think in different way, you have just one life. You still have lot of time dude, do before time expire. Every second is precious for you, don’t waste your time in such type of stupid things. Otherwise when the life will start playing, kehi ke nhi rehoge. Zindage aisa rulayegi ki bardasht nhi kar paoge. Wake up my friend. Just find your aim and shoot it. What do you want? Just hard work for 2-3 years and enjoy whole life or enjoy 2-3 yrs and regret whole life. Choice is yours. Life is not so easy as it seems. Your family has lot of expectations from you. Kar lena enjoy baad mein pehle kuch ban jao yaar, you still have lot of time for enjoying life, tension mat lo itni jaldi nhi maroge and one thing always keep in mind first give preference to your career, then family and then friend.
Thanks for reading.
CAclubindia
