The problem of a big M

Motivation - the big M

How do I stay motivated?
What should I do to keep my motivation intact?
How can I be motivated all the time?
I set a goal. I don't have the motivation to pursue them. What to do?

If you punch the above questions on a google bar, I am sure you will be bombarded with a truckload of solutions. Yet, the problem persists. You remain the same.

Let's address the issue one point at a time.

1. The Missing Why

More often than not, when faced with a problem, we tend to look outside for a quick hack that would magically remove all the glitches in our system, paving a smooth road ahead. A thundering video, a roar of ‘you can win', a sprinkle of ‘believe in yourself' and a pat of, ‘c'mon if I can, then you can too' are those spring showers that fall like dried leaves in autumn. The large picture can get hidden under the rug of rush and enthusiasm. The emotion gets settled and so do you.

External sources seldom work. You drink water to quench your thirst. You don't search for thirst. It erupts within you. Naturally.

1. Ask yourself why I am doing what am I doing? (to get a good job, to have a secure future, to feel healthy etc.)
2. How doing this will change my current situation? (I will have more money, I will feel more confident, I will be less anxious etc.)
3. If I won't pursue it diligently, what will be the consequences? (I will feel dejected, I will lose opportunities, I will feel insecure etc.)
4. How it will change me? (I will become a better person. I will earn my trust.)

• Remind yourself the why. 
• Keep fueling the intrinsic values. 
• Be curious about your future self by exploring in the present. 

This will take you far. 

2. WHAT V/S WHO?

We set goals with a brimming desire to achieve them. We draw meticulous plans to reach our destination. We visualize the top to feel it in our nerves. We fidget, delete, edit, improvise our steps to reach there faster. We want it. We want it now. 

Everything is done in the lure of being there - a euphoric landmark in the future. We are so busy looking at the fish's eye that we often forget how to pick an arrow..! 

It's said to shine like a sun, you have to burn like a sun. It holds true for our long-term goals. The emphasis on "what do I want?" blurs "who I need to be to get it?"

What you do reinforces your identity. Identity keeps you going when you feel demotivated to keep going. 

1. The goal is to be the best-selling author (identity). Write every day. (action).
2. The goal is to win a marathon. Be a runner(identity). Run every day (action)
3. The goal is to be a soulful guitarist (identity). Practice playing tunes every day(action).
4. The goal is to top this semester. Be an A student (identity). Study every day(action). 

• Ask yourself who do you wish to be?
• Take steps in the set direction daily.
• In the event of a pitfall, get back on track by becoming aware of your identity. A writer writes even on bad days.
• Dump the excuse of motivation by being conscious of your values. 

"I can't identify with the person who I was" is the ultimate reward. 

3. The tyranny of an inner critic

We are our worst enemies. If we start speaking with others the way we communicate with ourselves, I am pretty sure we will be left with no friends. No matter how much control we try to establish, we often feel powerless at the wrath of our inner critic. It's brutal. It cuts you out in open and leaves you there with nothingness.

The bigger our goals, the louder it gets. 

One mistake, one minor dent, one slip of relapse, and all it is there roaring like a madman:

• "You are an idiot. Why do you even try?"
• "A lazy ass can't work". 
• "How long will you take to get your shit together?"
• "Drop this. Just drop it..it's tough. Not possible for you?"

No wonder we feel demotivated to continue.

The inner critic is the narrative of the events happening to you. It's a mental habit of looking at a mole as a mountain and dropping off from the task at hand. 

The purpose of an inner critic is to keep you safe, and then berate you for playing safe. It's an ugly maze.

• Identify the nasty voice in your head.
• Desist the urge of shunning it off with distractions or counter-argument. You can't win against him. Don't try. 
• Acknowledge his presence. Invite him to tag along in your journey. Thank him for his remarks/warnings for keeping you safe. Do the work anyway.
• Laugh at his exaggerated claims. Remind yourself about your ability to learn from mistakes.
• Accept your self-doubt, and never be ashamed of feeling scared. We all feel this. We learn. We move forward.

Keep breathing. Soon, the voice lowers down. 

All you need to know

Motivation isn't one thing that we either have or do not have. Lots of forces are at play that determines the course of our life. There's no manual or a step by step guideline to fuel your positive reinforcement. 

Knowing who you are and what you truly value will make the process easy.

Till then,

Forget to refill your motivation tank with another blog.

And 
Start moving..!
Take care.