Emotional Intelligence is something which is one of the most under rated yet significant soft skill. We all know about IQ-intelligence quotient. We believe that IQ alone is important ingredient for success at the highest level and that people with high IQ are possibly more likely to succeed then people with average or low IQ. But studies have shown that is far from truth.
In fact it is intelligence quotient or emotional intelligence that is far more important than IQ. Daniel Goleman has observed that IQ accounts for only 20% of your success and more or less fixed whereas the remaining 80% of your success are determined by the emotional quotient that you possess.
Emotional Intelligence means being aware of your emotions and ability to manage and control your emotions as and when you need to. It does not mean curbing or suppressing your emotions as doing so will back fire on you in the long run, what is really means is to be more aware of what's going on inside your head, be mindful of how do you react at a particular situation and how better you could have responded to a situation in hand.
Emotional Intelligence is a significant life skill to possess, people with high Emotional Intelligence are more able to deal with difficult situations and difficult persons in their life. They are more able to handle tough conversations at work places and avoid conflict. They are more likely to focus on the task at hand rather than getting disturbed by every negative emotion that is triggered by the situations or circumstances of life.
Consider the examples of our great cricketers like Sachin, MSD or Rahul Dravid. During the prime time of their career, we saw how opposition bowlers tried to sledge them or make high-pitched comments or tall claims in public about how they plan to unsettle them or to get them out when they come out to bat against them. On the field also we saw many opposition bowlers hurling mouthfuls at them but they just did not give in to the verbal volleys offered by them and just got to their business. Similar is the case with Virendra Sehwag, who after being woefully beaten by a beauty of delivery, used to send the very next ball to the boundary or even over the boundary if it's in his zone to hit. He just seems to be very sure of what he was doing and was able to forget very quickly what happened on the last delivery.
This is the power of emotional intelligence. But why do we need it as an essential life skill? We need it because of a variety of reasons:
- To be more self aware of ourselves
- To avoid feelings of depression and anxiety
- To calm down our negative emotions
- To be able to deal with people better
- To avoid situational conflicts
- To be more assured of ourselves
- To develop empathy towards others
- To save ourselves from becoming victims of other people's point of views
How do you develop Emotional intelligence then?
Well it is not going to happen overnight, it will take consistent effort and practice to master the skill of emotional intelligence. First thing which will help you to move towards emotional intelligence is to realize that every situation or circumstance in life is neutral in itself, every one of us has his or her own perception and angle to look at it. For example, if it rains suddenly it may spoil the mood of a couple who wanted to go out for a dinner. But for a farmer waiting for rain to arrive, rain may be blessing. So it is important to understand that how we look at things triggers our emotions inside our heads. In other words, it is important for us to recognize what triggers an emotional response from us and how we can transform that emotional trigger. For example, if someone knowingly or unknowingly hurt us or did not agree to our proposal or viewpoint when we expected him to do so may calm down our emotions by realizing that everyone of us has his or her own way of looking at things and it is unrealistic to expect people to coincide with our views so it is perfectly ok and we should not take it further inside our head.
Ever since I started recognizing the importance of emotional intelligence in our lives, I immediately felt the difference. I applied emotional intelligence to calm down my emotions at a situation that normally induces a negative feeling of resentment in me. I was successfully able to calm down myself and also told myself that this was a neutral event and the feeling I attach to it is the result of my way of looking at things whereas the person at the other hand had his own say based on his perception.
Having said that, every situation is a new one, some of them are really demanding in terms of high emotional feelings running down our head and it is a continuous and ongoing process that we shall learn only after a considerable amount of time and efforts. But it is a wonderful skill to possess to make our life much better than we earlier thought. With emotional intelligence, you are more likely to save yourself from falling victim of circumstances, mood swings and falling into depression or anxiety by taking things in right perspective.
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